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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23611921">colors</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecalicocat/pseuds/bluecalicocat'>bluecalicocat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Spies &amp; Secret Agents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Crime Fighting, Fainting, Gen, Gun Violence, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Kang Younghyun | Young K are Siblings, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Humor, Injury, JYP is a spy agency, Kidnapping, Living Together, Minor Character Death, No regrets though, Past Character Death, Platonic Relationships, Protectiveness, Stray Kids are a family, Worry, bang chan best leader, dumb kids having dumb ideas and no impulse control, ok so apparently i made yg the villain in this, other jyp idols make appearances</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:08:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23611921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecalicocat/pseuds/bluecalicocat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>seungmin types something that makes the error message disappear. jisung is about to relax again, when both their screens suddenly go black.</p><p>“at least you made the alert go away”, he comments.</p><p>-</p><p>jisung has been fine for several years now. stray kids are doing well, handling their work and enjoying the breaks in between missions. their most recent mission is just like any other, until it isn't, and jisung seems to be in the middle of it all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan &amp; Han Jisung | Han, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Everyone, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Kim Seungmin, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Yang Jeongin | I.N</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>317</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. i</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“you know fifty different ways to kill someone with a butter knife, but don’t know how to crack an egg?” chan asks, voice laced with disbelief.</p>
<p>“fifty-four”, changbin corrects. as chan simply continues to stare at him, the younger seems to shrink in his place. “yeah…”</p>
<p>the leader lets out a dramatic sigh, though it’s obvious from the small smile on his face that he’s not actually upset in any way.</p>
<p>a second later, jisung enters the kitchen, making both boys turn away from the bowl in front of them to instead look toward the new arrival.</p>
<p>“ji, did you know that changbin can’t even crack an egg?” chan asks, clearly looking for sympathy from the younger. jisung grins at him.</p>
<p>“no, but i’m not surprised”, he replies, jumping up to sit on the countertop next to where the older two are currently… cooking? baking? he doesn’t know, so he decides to ask. it looks like they’re baking. “what are you making?”</p>
<p>“pancakes”, chan answers. he then glances at changbin. “or, so i thought. turns out, i’m the only one making pancakes, while changbin is being nothing but an annoyance.”</p>
<p>“hey!” the other exclaims, putting on an offended expression. jisung outright laughs at him while chan settles for sending him a pointed look, one that clearly says that he has no right to be offended since the statement is absolutely true.</p>
<p>they’re interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing.</p>
<p>chan, being the only one who ever has his sound on, turns around to go get the device while jisung and changbin watch from behind as he picks up the call. they talk a bit with each other as they wait for chan to finish his phone call.</p>
<p>“who do you think he’s talking to?” changbin wonders, turning to jisung.</p>
<p>“oh, jyp, definitely”, he responds. changbin raises his eyebrows.</p>
<p>“really? how can you tell?”</p>
<p>it sounds a bit teasing, but jisung is good with these things, and so changbin has to admit that he’s the tiniest bit interested to hear what the younger has to say.</p>
<p>jisung looks at chan again and starts pointing things out.</p>
<p>“see the way his posture got better as soon as he picked up?” jisung says, and the other nods. “that’s a clue. his jaw is also tensed, but his mouth is fully closed every time he’s not speaking, so it’s not a person he’d want to interrupt. the rest of his body is pretty still since he’s completely focused on what the person is saying.” jisung then looks back at changbin with a grin. “aside from that, the only contacts chan hyung has on his phone are the other members and jyp-nim, so it wasn’t that hard to guess.”</p>
<p>he finishes his explanation at about the same time as chan gets done talking to jyp, putting his phone away in his pocket before moving his gaze to the two younger ones, his expression a lot more serious now.</p>
<p>“that was jyp-nim”, he tells them, and jisung gives changbin a look that says <em>‘i told you so’</em>. “he has a new mission for us. we’re going in for a meeting tonight, but he said it was something about stopping a group of weapon smugglers.”</p>
<p>“i wonder if they’re smuggling butter knives”, jisung says, and changbin smacks the back of his head at this.</p>
<p>“shut up”, he reprimands. “seriously, you need to let the butter knife incident go. it was a long time ago. forget it.”</p>
<p>jisung gives him an indignant look before casting a pointed glance toward the ceiling. changbin looks like he’s about to smack the boy’s head again, so jisung jumps away quickly.</p>
<p>“never!” he exclaims. “besides, the butter knife incident was less than two weeks ago.”</p>
<p>“yeah, that’s practically an eternity. get over it already!”</p>
<p>from where he’s standing right in front of them, chan lets out another dramatic sigh at their squabbling.</p>
<p>“actual kids, i’m telling you…” he mutters. “okay, come on. let’s call everyone to the living room and let them know that we have a new mission.”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“weapon smugglers?” seungmin repeats once chan has told them the little information he’s been given by their boss. the leader gives a nod in confirmation. “weapons, as in actual weapons, or weapons as in butter knives?”</p>
<p>there’s a teasing look on his face, and changbin groans from where he’s draped across one of the armchairs in their living room.</p>
<p>“seriously”, he says. “all of you. let it go. please, just… forget it ever happened. stop turning it into a recurring theme in my life.”</p>
<p>some of them snicker at this, but otherwise let him have his dramatic moment. felix taps jisung’s shoulder to get his attention, and when his near twin turns to him, he shakes his head as if to say that they definitely should not let this go, nor should they forget about it. based on the grin jisung is wearing, he believes his friend feels the same.</p>
<p>“okay, so the meeting is tonight”, chan states. all of them turn back to him at this. “stopping a smaller group of weapon smugglers sounds like it will be a simple enough mission, but-…”</p>
<p>“all sorts of crimes are part of a bigger network of criminal activity, and we can never accurately guess just how serious a mission will be before we delve deeper into it, bla bla bla, we’ve all heard this before”, hyunjin rambles, having heard this same speech one too many times. chan looks a bit annoyed with being interrupted, but nods at what the boy is saying.</p>
<p>“yes, hyunjin is right. don’t go in with the mindset that this will be easy, because you never know.”</p>
<p>“chan, we haven’t even had the meeting with jyp yet, calm down”, minho speaks up from where he’s sitting on the floor in front of the couch, playing with a fidget spinner that almost certainly belongs to felix. he doesn’t even look at their leader as he talks. “none of us are amateurs.”</p>
<p>“correction; we’re all amateurs”, seungmin chimes in. “we’ve just gotten a lot better at bullshitting our way through tasks now.”</p>
<p>chan does not look impressed with their comments.</p>
<p>“you guys are funny”, he eventually comments. “now, someone go get jeongin. i said i’d get started without him if he didn’t leave his computer within two minutes. spoiler alert, he didn’t, so now he missed all this information.”</p>
<p>“oh.” felix looks around. “i didn’t even realize he’s not here.”</p>
<p>“is he hacking?” changbin asks, moving to sit more upright in the armchair. it would make sense for him to be practicing his skills, since his position in their team is a hacker, and it’s always good to practice.</p>
<p>chan rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“no. he’s playing fortnite.”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>the meeting with jyp is held in the same room as always. he’s already seated in his usual spot by the short end of the table, with four chairs on either side of it for them to sit in, and he watches with a closed-off expression as they all file in and sit down, the only sign that he sees them being the small nod he sends toward the group at large.</p>
<p>everyone is quiet as they wait for their boss to start. he looks very calm where he’s sitting, looking out over all their faces, simply taking in the situation.</p>
<p>then, he leans forward slightly.</p>
<p>“welcome”, the man begins to speak, only to be interrupted by jisung no more than a second later.</p>
<p>“why are you nervous?” the boy questions. not in a rude tone, but a bit suspicious.</p>
<p>no one else around the table had noticed that he was, and they’re all surprised to see the incredibly small smile on jyp’s face at the way the younger is calling him out. of course, the relationship between jyp and jisung has always been weird, since the boy pretty much grew up here, and it’s obvious in every single interaction between them that jisung isn’t like the other agents that have trained here. no one else in this room would have interrupted the man, maybe with the exception of chan, the only other person who’s been at the agency for such a long time.</p>
<p>“i’m not nervous”, jyp states. when it seems like jisung is about to speak again, he holds up a hand to stop the boy before he has the time to do so. “i am, however, feeling quite restless, but that has nothing with this meeting to do. now, let’s go over your mission.”</p>
<p>it’s just like chan had said earlier: they’re meant to stop a group of weapon smugglers, and it looks like a relatively simple mission, but they all know that the job description can be pretty deceiving in the business they’re in.</p>
<p>jyp hands the mission file over to chan, who takes it and starts looking through the pages. it seems like they already have a lot of information. there are direct quotes regarding when and where these guys will be stealing and selling the weapons, as well as detailed lists as to exactly what types of weapons will be in the delivery they’re planning to hijack.</p>
<p>the only thing there’s no information about are the smugglers themselves, so it’s not very clear whether these guys are part of some larger organization, or just a group of individuals trying to make a living by stealing and selling.</p>
<p>considering how easy everything about this mission has sounded so far, chan is willing to bet that they’ll turn out to be a part of some bigger network.</p>
<p>after skimming through the report, chan looks back up at the group.</p>
<p>“so?” jyp says. “do you have any questions, or will you be able to take it from here?”</p>
<p>“this is a lot of information. it looks like you’ve done most of the job already”, chan jokes, and the older man smiles. “but no, i think we’ll be fine to take it from here.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't listen to me whenever jisung talks about reading body language, because i have no idea what i'm talking about, it's all bullshit! jisung knows his shit though, so let's act like it's 100% accurate!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ii</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it’s not the first time their living room has spontaneously turned into an office, with blueprints and different documents spread across the entire floor, and it probably won’t be the last time, either.</p><p>jeongin and seungmin are on the couch, each boy with a computer open on their lap since they’re both hackers and do most of their work digitally.</p><p>their leader has one of the paper files in his hand while the rest of the guys are spread out around the table in the middle of the room, reading either from the documents laying on the floor or the papers on the table.</p><p>“they’re planning to steal the weapons this friday”, chan reads from the document in his hand. he looks up at the rest of the boys. “that’s three days from now.”</p><p>“is our plan to stop them when they’re stealing the weapons, or wait until they meet up with the buyers?” felix asks. he’s currently looking over the weapons list to find out what to expect, since he’s the weapons expert on their team and therefore knows more about it than the others.</p><p>“if we wait until the meeting with the buyers, we could take down both the weapon smugglers as well as the buyers”, jisung suggests.</p><p>chan looks hesitant.</p><p>“yeah, but it’s much riskier”, he says. “and also a lot more dangerous for our team. the easiest way would be to stop them before they get the weapons.”</p><p>“if we do that, we may be letting another criminal group walk free”, minho comments, referring to the buyers. they know that it’s ultimately their leader’s job to make the decision, though, so everyone waits as chan considers their points.</p><p>“does everyone think we should wait until they meet up with the buyers?” he asks the group as a whole.</p><p>jisung and minho have already made their stance clear, but the others give it a bit more thought before stating their own opinions.</p><p>“i think so too”, changbin agrees with the two.</p><p>“yeah”, seungmin says. “it wouldn’t feel right to only get the smugglers, when we know the buyers will still be out there and continue what they do.”</p><p>the remaining three boys don’t say anything, but they nod along to everyone else’s points.</p><p>chan wants to hear them say it, though.</p><p>“felix?” he asks, then turns to the last two. “hyunjin? jeongin?”</p><p>the younger australian gives a slow nod.</p><p>“yeah, they’re right.” he turns his eyes to the couch. “what about you, innie?”</p><p>“sure”, their maknae agrees. “but i’m not the one out in the field, so it doesn’t make much of a difference.”</p><p>“i think seungmin had a good point. it wouldn’t feel right to let them walk free”, hyunjin eventually says, and that settles it.</p><p>chan surveys the room once more before giving a final nod.</p><p>“good”, he says. “let’s start planning, then.”</p><p>-</p><p>“no, hold it like this.” hyunjin leans forward to adjust jisung’s grip on the knife, showing him how he needs to keep it in his hand in order to throw it properly. that’s turning out to be a lot more complicated than the younger had thought. it doesn’t make sense to waste this much effort to learn it, for no valid reason, since knife throwing isn’t really an effective way to attack.</p><p>“show me how it’s done”, jisung says after a few more moments of trying to lift it in the correct way. he leans back on the kitchen floor where the pair is currently sitting, looking at hyunjin and waiting for him to do something.</p><p>hyunjin must see the challenge in his gaze, because he huffs before grabbing a knife. he looks like an expert as he lifts it, turning toward one of the other walls and aiming.</p><p>it’s a good throw, but the knife doesn’t stick to the wall.</p><p>“the moon must not be in position”, hyunjin shrugs and stands up to get his knife back. jisung wants to argue about how astrology has absolutely nothing to do with this, and that hyunjin has no idea how astrology even works, but he knows the other would never admit that. so naturally, he decides to insult knife throwing instead of the other’s astrology knowledge.</p><p>“why would you waste so much time and effort on something so useless?” jisung asks, and hyunjin looks way too offended considering the truth his statement holds. “i mean, it takes so much time to master, and it’s not even practical. why have you wasted so much time to learn knife throwing when you’ll probably never have any use for it?”</p><p>“jisung, do you have any idea how badass this makes me look?” hyunjin responds. he throws his knife into the air and catches it swiftly for effect, raising his eyebrows as he does. “because, spoiler alert, i look really fucking cool like this.”</p><p>“swear jar!” felix’s yells at them from another room. jisung grins as hyunjin makes a displeased expression, and then draws a deep breath, about to yell something back. the anticipation is real.</p><p>“motherfucking bitch!” hyunjin shouts. jisung nearly starts laughing, watching with delight as he continues his protest against their swearing jar. “dick, pussy, fuck, damn bitch, what the hell, whore, shit, motherfu-…”</p><p>“please”, chan interrupts loudly, stepping into the room with a pained look on his face. he pointedly ignores the knives in front of the two boys as they both turn to face him. “can you focus on the mission? please?”</p><p>okay, maybe they have more important things to be doing.</p><p>-</p><p>they decide that a few of them will go and watch when the weapons are stolen, even though they won’t intervene, only to get a better idea of who they’re dealing with. just a simple observation mission. the only important part of this will be that the criminals don’t see them there, because if they find out they’re being watched, that could ruin this entire case.</p><p>chan decides to only send jisung and minho on this simpler part of the mission, while jeongin oversees everything by hacking into surveillance cameras and talk to the pair through an earpiece. the security systems aren’t even that hard to override, so it shouldn’t be too tough.</p><p>even though it’s not a complicated mission, they all get nervous by knowing that two of their own are out in the field. it’s always so obvious when anyone is away on a mission. technically, it doesn’t have to be any different from someone leaving the house to get groceries, but there’s something that changes in the atmosphere of their apartment just from the knowledge that there’s an ongoing mission that the rest of them aren’t a part of.</p><p>jeongin has locked himself in his bedroom so that his hyungs won’t bother him when he’s trying to work, and won’t even let seungmin come inside. it wouldn’t be disastrous for him to get distracted, considering the simplicity of the mission, but still. he doesn’t want any interruptions.</p><p>hyunjin is sitting on top of the kitchen island and sharpening knives. it’s would probably be an unusual sight in case a normal person was to enter the apartment to see this, but their family isn’t exactly normal, and no one is surprised by what he’s doing.</p><p>felix is also in the kitchen, though he’s sitting on the countertop instead of the kitchen island, and instead of sharpening knives, he has a gun that he keeps taking apart before putting together again. they don’t speak. the only thing interrupting the silence is the sound of hyunjin’s knives, or the clanking noises as felix puts pieces together only to take them apart again moments later.</p><p>seungmin and changbin are both seated in front of the tv, where they have a news channel playing, though both of their postures are way too straight to be seen as comfortable or relaxed. chan is right next to them, but his focus is on the screen of his phone instead of the tv. they’re all trying to distract themselves from thinking too much, to various degrees of success.</p><p>minho and jisung have barely been gone for an hour, but the air already feels tense.</p><p>meanwhile, jeongin is currently watching the event take place on his computer, and despite being the only one at the apartment who’s directly involved with this mission, he’s probably the calmest one in the house. having something important to focus on certainly helps calm your nerves.</p><p>his screen is currently showing a wide alleway, with a truck standing in the middle of it. despite not seeing the actual weapons from this point of view, jeongin knows they’re in there, otherwise the truck wouldn’t be stopped.</p><p>he can barely make out the shape of his hyungs on screen, as they’re both hiding in one of the buildings surrounding the alley where the gang of smugglers are currently going through the truck with the weapons. it won’t be long before they’ll be getting away from there, not long until the mission is over, but it’s been so much of just waiting that jeongin thinks it’s been going on for much longer than it actually has. they’re not supposed to intervene, so all three agents are doing exactly what they’re supposed to, but it’s getting kind of boring.</p><p>he can’t hear anything the criminal guys are saying, and from what minho and jisung have said, the two of them are also restricted when it comes to hearing.</p><p>there’s one new piece of information they’ve gotten from this, though: the weapon smugglers have some sort of connection to yg. apparently minho overheard them saying something along the lines of “do you think this will be enough for yg?”.</p><p>yg is another spy agency, though it’s known for being a lot looser than jyp when it comes to following the law in their practices. there are rumors about yg having subdivisions that are directly involved with illegal tradings, drug smuggling, and even some cases of human trafficking. while none of that is confirmed, it wouldn’t be the most surprising thing, considering the way they operate.</p><p>most of the smugglers seem to have entered the truck by now, so jeongin is not surprised to see that it starts moving. he waits and watches as it drives off. it feels like he should be holding his breath or something, anything not to disrupt the silence as all three of them do nothing but wait for enough time to pass to be fully sure that they’re gone.</p><p>at least two minutes must have passed before anyone speaks up.</p><p>“that’s interesting”, minho eventually comments into the earpiece, and jeongin nearly snorts at the understatement. yg being involved in weapon smuggling is a lot more than simply interesting.</p><p>he’s about to point it out when jisung speaks up.</p><p>“i have to talk to younghyun hyung.” his voice sounds a lot more serious than minho’s had been, and to be honest, it makes jeongin worried. “hyung, go back to our place, i’ll come later. innie, tell the others that we’ll be there soon and that the mission went well. no complications.”</p><p>jeongin is about to say that anything that makes jisung not go straight home will probably count as a complication in chan’s book, but minho beats him to it.</p><p>“ji, are you sure? do you want me to go with you?”</p><p>younghyun is jisung’s brother, so they know their member will be safe with him, but it’s a bit of a strange time for him to visit his older sibling. they don’t question it, though.</p><p>“no, i’ll be fine on my own. day6 are probably training at this time, and the training center isn’t far from our apartment. i’ll be quick, promise.”</p><p>he doesn’t offer any further explanation, and the other two know better than to push.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry for hyunjin in this chapter, he cussed a lot. let's blame it on astrology</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. iii</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>stray kids? did you mean: wandering children</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“little brother!” younghyun exclaims before the door to the gym even has time to close behind jisung. the younger gives a small smile and a wave to the other four guys in the room, who have all turned around at younghyun’s exclamation. they all send him a nod before turning back to what they were doing, though sungjin’s gaze seems to linger a bit longer than the rest. when he notices jisung’s eyes on him, he gives a small smile before turning away.</p><p>“hi hyung”, jisung greets as younghyun approaches him with outstretched arms. the smile on his face is surprisingly bright for someone in a gym. i mean, how fun can it really be in here?</p><p>jisung dodges the hug he tries to give and grimaces at the older.</p><p>“eww, you’re all sweaty, you think i wanna hug you when you smell like that?”</p><p>the other boy fake pouts for as many seconds as he can (roughly two), before his face splits into another grin.</p><p>“yeah, okay, fine.” he then tilts his head and looks at jisung in a way that makes it feel like he can read his mind. “what’s up? you’re giving me bad vibes. got bad news for me?”</p><p>for a moment, jisung wishes that his brother wasn’t as good at reading people as he is, because it’s impossible to hide things around here. not that he’s in any position to complain about anyone else being too good at reading people, considering his own skill.</p><p>“uh, no. not today, at least. i have some questions though.”</p><p>younghyun gives a way too dramatic sigh at that.</p><p>“that’s almost worse”, he comments, then glances back at the four guys that have all gone back to their workouts now and are paying them no attention. “come on, let’s talk outside. there’s a water fountain in the hallway and i’ve already emptied my water bottle. i need to refill it.”</p><p>he doesn’t wait for jisung to respond, but drags his younger brother along as he heads for the door. no one seems to care as they exit the room, neither of them speaking as they walk toward one of the benches in the dimly lit hallway.</p><p>“so”, younghyun says as they’re sitting down. “you’ve got questions.”</p><p>“about yg”, jisung says. the expression on younghyun’s face doesn’t change, but jisung feels the difference in the air between them. he continues. “it seems like they’re somehow involved in our current mission.”</p><p>“you and your wandering children should really stop getting involved in such complicated missions.”</p><p>jisung shoots his brother an annoyed look.</p><p>“it’s not like any of the missions jyp gives out are easy”, he argues. “and just for the record, it’s stray kids, not wandering children.”</p><p>younghyun waves him away with a small smile.</p><p>“yeah, yeah, whatever. just ask. but just to make sure you’re aware, i was one year old when our parents left their jobs at yg, and babies normally haven’t developed their memory yet, so i may not be of much help. i don't remember anything about yg.”</p><p>jisung rolls his eyes at this. they’re both aware of their parents’ past, despite the fact that their parents are now dead and both brothers were pretty young when they died. what they do know is that their parents used to work for the agency.</p><p>“yeah, but i’m not dumb. they weren’t allowed to leave the agency, so even if you can’t remember any of their time there, they must have been in trouble for the rest of their lives after escaping.”</p><p>“that’s true.” younghyun’s expression is back to being serious now. “there’s a reason why we were always running.”</p><p>even though jisung doesn’t have a clear memory of his parents, he does know that the majority of his first four years alive were spent in a car, constantly moving. they never did stay in one place very long. at the time, he had no idea why, but younghyun and jyp have both told him things about his parents that he was too young to be told when they were still alive.</p><p>“but you said you had questions”, younghyun speaks up again, his eyes on jisung. “and you think yg is involved in weapon smuggling. is that what you wanted to ask me about?”</p><p>to be honest, jisung hasn’t thought much about what exactly he’s going to ask younghyun. all he knows is that there’s a connection between his parents and yg, and a connection between yg and stray kids’ case about weapon smuggling.</p><p>“i guess.” he pulls a bit on his sleeve. most of the questions in his head aren’t related to the mission, though. “mom and dad weren’t… they were good people, right?”</p><p>younghyun’s gaze seems to soften at this.</p><p>“yeah, ji. i really think they were.”</p><p>sometimes it feels unfair that younghyun is the only one of them who actually got to know their parents, with him being seven whole years older than jisung himself, but he knows it makes no difference to think like that. their parents are dead, have been since jisung was four. it makes no difference for him to dwell on the past.</p><p>“do you know why they left yg?”</p><p>jisung is pretty sure he’s asked younghyun about this sometime before, because it’s odd for agents to leave their agency without a reason.</p><p>“i dunno for sure.” younghyun turns his eyes to the wall in front of them, though it doesn’t seem like he’s really seeing it, instead getting lost in the memories. “i asked about it, more than once. they never gave a clear answer, probably cause i was just a kid. they did say that yg wasn’t a good company, though. that’s all i know.”</p><p>jisung hums, and then silence settles over the pair. they’re both deep in thought now, both about yg as an agency, but mostly about their parents. there are so many unanswered questions about them. things their sons may never get to know now that they’re not here to tell them about it.</p><p>the somber atmosphere is ruined by the door to the gym being thrown open, effectively pulling both brothers out of their thoughts. the pair of them turns toward the source of the sound at the same time as jae emerges, eyes wide.</p><p>you don’t have to be an expert on body language to tell that something is wrong.</p><p>both jisung and younghyun rise from their seats at the same time.</p><p>“what’s wrong?” younghyun questions before jae has the time to speak. the oldest looks between them as if he’s considering something, before settling his gaze on the first brother and answering.</p><p>“you know how got7 caught a whole group of weapon smugglers about two weeks ago, and how all of them had tattoos on their necks that said ‘YG’?”</p><p>jisung can’t say he knew that, but after a confirming nod from younghyun, jae continues.</p><p>“well, they just escaped.”</p><p>-</p><p>jisung stares expectantly at chan, waiting for the leader to react to everything he just told him. it’s a lot of information, even though jisung didn’t even mention his own parents since most of the others don’t know about his family’s past with yg.</p><p>they end up sitting in silence for several moments, jisung on the couch and chan in one of the armchairs. the rest of stray kids are standing nervously behind chan, having listened to what jisung told him, but waiting for the oldest to respond first.</p><p>to be fair, no one knows what to say, because no one really knows what all of this means. this simple mission is turning out to have too many ties to other things, and so far, not one of those ties has been explained.</p><p>eventually, chan leans back and starts speaking.</p><p>“we should ask to look at the case file got7 has on that other group of smugglers. the ones that escaped”, he says. “in case it’s related to our own mission.”</p><p>“or we could hack into their files without permission”, seungmin suggests. at the stern look chan sends him, he quickly throws his hands up. “i’m kidding!”</p><p>“but we’re not actually sure if there’s a connection between the group we’re after and the ones that got7 caught”, changbin says, completely ignoring seungmin. “and we’re not sure how either group is actually connected to yg.”</p><p>“considering the ones that escaped have tattoos on their necks that say ‘YG’, i’d say they’re members of the agency”, minho speaks. way to state the obvious.</p><p>hyunjin snorts at that.</p><p>“oh really? i would never have come to that conclusion myself”, he jokes.</p><p>jisung can feel an oncoming headache, but doesn’t pay it any mind. he probably just hasn’t had enough to drink. he tries to keep up a normal appearance as the conversation around him continues.</p><p>“our first priority should always be our own mission”, chan says. “and our mission is to stop this specific group of weapon smugglers, the ones that jisung and minho went to spy on yesterday. in case the smugglers that got7 caught are related to the ones we’re trying to catch, we should try to find out as soon as possible, but don’t lose focus on what’s most important here.”</p><p>they still have five days until the weapon smugglers are supposed to meet up with the buyers, and they’ll have their chance at catching them. there’s still some planning and preparing left to do. maybe some more research, if these criminals are really related to the yg agents that just escaped from jyp.</p><p>“well, this has been a wild day”, minho comments and stretches his arms over his head, breaking the serious mood of the room. “i’m gonna have dinner. ji, come on, you also need to eat.”</p><p>jisung stands up from the couch and has to bite back a groan as the pain in his head seems to double at the movement. it’s not too much for him to handle, but he’s worried his body won’t be able to take it. he hasn’t had a bad headache in a long while, not since way before stray kids officially formed. they used to be so bad that he blacked out. surely, that can’t happen again, not after so long of him not struggling with headaches at all. he tries his best to ignore it.</p><p>while minho and jisung head toward the kitchen, the rest of the members stay in the living room, most likely to keep discussing their mission. it’s almost funny how serious they all become as soon as there’s an ongoing mission. it feels like it was just this morning they were all joking and laughing about the butter knife incident.</p><p>jisung follows minho into the kitchen and jumps up to sit on the counter as the older starts making the food for them in a comfortable silence. they can distantly hear hums of the conversation that’s still going on out in the living room, even if they can’t make out the things being said.</p><p>time has a funny way of passing at different speeds depending on your mood, and right now, it feels like jisung has barely gotten up to sit on the counter before minho is finishing up the food, turning off the stove and moving the food over to their plates. the younger helps, while minho jumps up to join him on the counter. they rarely bother with sitting by the kitchen table when it’s just the two of them, both boys preferring to sit here even though chan would definitely say that they shouldn’t do it. good thing he can’t see them right now.</p><p>“how was younghyun hyung?” minho asks as they get seated, not looking at the younger as he’s busy moving the food onto their plates. jisung thinks for a second before replying.</p><p>“good, i guess”, he eventually says. “didn’t get much time to talk to him. we only talked about depressing stuff, anyway.”</p><p>minho hums before holding a plate out for jisung. the boy takes it.</p><p>“not to make it sound like i enjoy you being sad, but that’s good. if you have depressing thoughts, it’s better to talk about them than to ignore them.”</p><p>he doesn’t say anything else, and so they leave it at that. at least for now. conversations with him and minho are a funny thing, because they will sometimes make it seem like they’ve left a topic behind, but then several hours (sometimes even days) later, one of them will continue right where they left off, as if they never stopped talking at all.</p><p>right now though, they settle for sitting and eat in silence. it’s a nice break.</p><p>despite having the same meal on both of their plates, they keep stealing bites from each other, as well as putting pieces of their own food on the other’s plate. not in an annoying way. they just like different vegetables, and usually exchange food with each other to get the pieces they like.</p><p>when they’re finished eating, minho takes both of their plates and puts them in the sink. jisung thinks his head still kind of hurts, but it hasn’t been as bad now that he’s been sitting still.</p><p>minho moves to leave the kitchen, and so jisung jumps down from the counter, intending to follow the older back out to the living room. he never gets that far.</p><p>it’s like his impact with the floor sends a wave of pain through his entire body, even though he lands very softly, and the pain reaches his head in the fraction of a section. it feels like it splits his head open. he can’t even bring himself to make any sound as he blindly reaches up to cover his eyes.</p><p>jisung is not sure if he manages to close them before everything goes black.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the ending of this chapter is officially the most cliche thing i've done in a fanfic.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. iv</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>if passing out was all sharp and sudden, then jisung thinks waking up is more like fading back into consciousness.</p>
<p>he becomes aware of the soft material under him before he opens his eyes and notices the brightness of whatever room he’s found himself in now. it’s probably a bed, this thing he’s laying on. yeah, that would make sense.</p>
<p>there’s not much noise around him, but enough to help him figure out that he’s not alone. some low voices, a bit of clattering, and the occasional door opening in the distance. not much else. the ceiling is white, and so are the walls. jisung is currently turned toward the wall, so he can’t see the rest of the room without turning around, but just from the little he’s seen and from the sounds he can hear, he guesses he’s in the medic wing of the jyp building. it wouldn’t be his first time here.</p>
<p>he takes a deep breath before turning around.</p>
<p>it looks exactly like it usually does. a counter along one of the walls, filled with different types of medical equipment, and a row of cabinets above it. as expected, jisung is occupying the only bed in the room.</p>
<p>he sees two people working over by the counter, looking like they’re trying to organize all the objects spread out on there. one of them is definitely seungmin, but the other is female. jisung isn’t sure, but she’s short and he vaguely recognizes the way she moves, so he figures that it’s most likely chaeyoung. she’s a trained medic, so it would make sense for her to be in here.</p>
<p>“i’m awake”, he says, making sure not to speak in a way that would startle them. chaeyoung still jumps slightly (because yes, it turns out to be her standing over there), but jisung thinks that’s more because she’d been so focused on sorting… well, whatever those things are. they look like small plastic pipes.</p>
<p>seungmin has been through this enough times to know what jisung is about to ask before he even has time to open his mouth again, and the medic starts talking as soon as he sees jisung sitting up.</p>
<p>“you blacked out, so i’m assuming it was a headache.” at jisung’s lack of protests, he continues. “it’s the same as it used to be. normal temperature, normal pulse, normal everything. unless it starts hurting again, you’re probably good for now.”</p>
<p>jisung keeps quiet, sensing that there’s more to it. when seungmin doesn’t say anything else, he decides to ask.</p>
<p>“and? you have something more to say. what did chan hyung say about it? how long do i have to rest?”</p>
<p>seungmin knows enough about reading body language to not look away from jisung’s gaze, which he keeps stubbornly fixed on the slightly younger boy, but jisung almost wishes the other had looked away.</p>
<p>“you’re benched.”</p>
<p>the first thought that goes through his mind is ‘fuck’. the second is that he’s very glad seungmin isn’t sugarcoating it, because he doesn’t think he would have had the patience for that. then, the thoughts finally manage to transform into words, and jisung speaks.</p>
<p>“i’m benched?” he repeats seungmin’s words, his voice colored with disbelief. “we’re in the middle of a mission, you can’t just bench me!”</p>
<p>he’s not sure who he means by “you”, so he mentally aims it at the universe in general.</p>
<p>“we didn’t…” seungmin starts to say something, but trails off. he then sighs. “ji, i’m sorry. you know i can’t do anything about it.”</p>
<p>“i haven’t had bad headache in years”, jisung says, even though he knows making this argument is useless. however, he’d feel worse if he doesn’t say it, and he thinks seungmin understands that, since the medic doesn’t try to interrupt him. “and i haven’t blacked out since before we even formed stray kids! i don’t even know why it happened this time.”</p>
<p>“don’t you think that might be the problem, though?” seungmin asks carefully. jisung only stares at him, so he explains. “i mean, it came out of nowhere. you’ve been fine for years, and now you’re suddenly blacking out again? that’s a bit worrying, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>jisung is quiet for a few moments, then rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“i hate when you make so much sense”, he comments, to which seungmin grins. the serious atmosphere of the room fades.</p>
<p>chaeyoung finally decides to join in on the conversation now that it’s clear it won’t turn into an argument, taking a step away from the counter and looking at the two boys.</p>
<p>“hey, jisung”, she greets with a small grin. “haven’t seen you in a while.”</p>
<p>the boy gives her the most deadpan expression he can muster in his current situation.</p>
<p>“you’re a medic”, he says. “you should be glad you haven’t seen me in a while.”</p>
<p>the girl laughs. it really has been too long since they talked to each other, at least something more than the small “hello” they’ll exchange when they pass each other in the corridors. he makes a mental note to make more of an effort to catch up with all his old friends. having been at the company for nearly fifteen years now, jisung knows pretty much everyone here.</p>
<p>and that reminds him: he’s gotta go talk to chan.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>jisung doesn’t live for his job. sure, he lives in an apartment provided by the agency, and he lives together with the other agents on his team (though they’re more like family at this point), but the reason he lives isn’t to work.</p>
<p>however, there’s a clear difference between choosing to do things other than work, and being forced to do other things because he’s not allowed to work. jisung wishes he had the option.</p>
<p>since he doesn’t have a lasting headache, he gets to leave the room in the medical wing after informing seungmin and chaeyoung that he doesn’t feel any pain and promising that he’ll tell someone if it comes back. for once, he’s actually honest when he makes that promise. it’s not like he can get benched a second time if they find out that he has another headache.</p>
<p>he then sets out to find chan. the leader always has the final say, so he has to have something more to say about the whole thing with jisung getting benched. despite knowing that he won’t be able to convince the older to un-bench him (is that a thing?), jisung would like to hear what chan has to say about this.</p>
<p>seungmin had told him that chan is probably at the dorms, so jisung leaves the agency building and sets out for their home.</p>
<p>he notices as soon as he steps outside that it’s raining, but the rain is light enough that he figures he’ll be fine without a jacket. their home isn’t far, anyway, only a few streets. a five minute walk if he's fast.</p>
<p>as expected, he reaches their apartment only a bit colder than when he’d started and with his hair messed up a bit from the rainwater, but not exactly dripping with it. he sees it as a total win.</p>
<p>their front door is unlocked. jisung frowns at this. it’s not like them to leave it unlocked, regardless of whether anyone is home or not, not even if they’re waiting for one of the others to get home. it’s a very basic precaution, but in certain situations, it could be the difference between life and death.</p>
<p>he opens the door and thinks he might understand why it’s unlocked now. a strange smell hits him the second he steps inside, and if this was a cartoon, there would probably be a colored cloud of smoke coming toward him. in real life, there’s no sign of smoke. only the weird smell. something like a mix of cotton candy, popcorn and burnt food (jisung knows what that smells like a little too well).</p>
<p>felix steps out from the kitchen only a moment after jisung has closed the door behind him, and the one day younger boy turns to look at him with a sheepish smile. he must take notice of the confusion on jisung’s face, because he speaks.</p>
<p>“you like it?” felix asks, voice surprisingly bright considering his face is partly covered in cocoa powder. jisung raises his eyebrows at the other.</p>
<p>“it smells like someone set fire to all the food at a carnival“, he comments. “and you look like you tried to bake a cake with your face. what the hell did you do?”</p>
<p>felix seems to think over his comment for a moment, not paying any attention to the actual question.</p>
<p>“yeah, i think that’s an accurate description”, he concludes with a grin.</p>
<p>their conversation is cut short by chan stepping out from the kitchen behind felix, turning his eyes toward jisung to see what has the younger distracted, and the expression on his face is a lot less happy than the one on felix’s. he simply seems exasperated with this whole situation.</p>
<p>“what happened?” jisung asks again, hoping the leader will actually answer him.</p>
<p>chan shakes his head slowly, letting out a sigh. he can’t stop a small smile from forming, though, so jisung guesses he’s not as annoyed as he’s trying to act.</p>
<p>“they tried to cook. emphasis on tried.”</p>
<p>ah, that explains it. in that case, jisung has another pressing question he’d like to ask.</p>
<p>“okay. why am i benched?”</p>
<p>felix glances between the two boys quickly, sensing the mood change, before rushing out of there in a not-so-smooth attempt at avoiding the confrontation that may or may not be about to take place in their hallway right now. they hear him crash into someone in the living room and take it as a sign to proceed with this talk.</p>
<p>chan doesn’t try to be comforting, and he doesn’t beat around the bush. jisung appreciates that. he’s aware that it’s a conscious thing, because chan tends to be careful with what he says, but not so much with jisung. they’ve been friends long enough to know what the other does and doesn’t respond well to, and jisung doesn’t like to feel like he’s being talked down to.</p>
<p>“two reasons. the first is because we don’t want to compromise the mission, especially if it is as serious as we’re starting to expect, with these connections to yg.” jisung is about to intervene, but chan continues. “and the second is your health. i’m not risking one of my teammate’s well-being for a mission, no matter how important it is. even if you think you’re fine, we’d all feel a lot better if you sit this one out. please? for our sake?”</p>
<p>any argument jisung had been about to make disappears from his mind the moment chan mentions how all the others feel about this.</p>
<p>when jisung gives a short nod in response instead of an argument, surprise overtakes chan’s face for about half a second before he manages to school his expression again. jisung grins at him.</p>
<p>“you really sound like a leader, you know”, he says. chan merely raises his eyebrows, unimpressed.</p>
<p>“uh, yeah, i sure hope so.”</p>
<p>he must be unaware of how much he sounds like a vine when he says it, because the confusion on chan’s face when jisung bursts out laughing seems genuine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. v</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>bang chan best leader! han jisung best boy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the following days, jisung finds himself joining in on every single dumb idea anyone gets. whenever one or a few of them is trying to do some stupid experiment, such as boiling cereal for breakfast, jisung is there as well. the others don’t have the heart to tell him off as strictly as they would have under other circumstances, most likely taking pity on him for being benched. he blames it on being bored. being bored is definitely a consequence of being benched, but jisung tries not to think about that.</p><p>chan must take pity on him too, because it’s been less than two days since the accident when he offers to take jisung out. actually, it’s not so much an offer as it is a demand.</p><p>“jisung, i’m taking you out today”, he announces five minutes after discovering jisung and minho trying to stack paper cups from the floor all the way up to the kitchen ceiling. not empty cups. no, they’re all filled with water (there’s already a puddle on the floor from one of the cups that fell over). the actual tower hasn’t fallen yet, luckily. chan isn’t very keen on seeing that happen.</p><p>“okay!” jisung bounces up, away from minho and the paper cups. the older boy only glances up briefly before going back to focus on improving the tower. “on a date or with a sniper gun?”</p><p>felix has shown him that joke earlier, so chan should have expected that response.</p><p>“no”, chan answers. “out, as in outside. you’re starting to go insa-… or, you’re starting to go more insane than usual. besides, i would never take you out with a sniper gun, that’s way too impersonal. a handgun, maybe, but a knife seems more likely. or maybe an axe.”</p><p>“a crime of passion.” jisung nods wisely, as if this is an actual possibility. chan is obviously way too emotionally invested in his friendship with the younger to murder him.</p><p>it takes no arguing for him to convince jisung, the younger already agreeing that he needs to get out and see the world. he can practically feel his sanity slipping away the more time he spends in the apartment without anything to do, so the two of them get ready, and then leave the apartment.</p><p>-</p><p>jisung finds it ironically hilarious how he never has any serious issues with anxiety during missions. yeah, sure, it happens both before and after he goes on them, but not during. never during.</p><p>right now is not a mission though, and apparently that makes his anxiety feel entitled to make a comeback. all the people around him are becoming a little too much, and he reaches for chan’s hand without thinking about it. the older doesn’t even have to look down to understand why, simply grabbing hold of jisung as a silent but comforting gesture. it’s crazy how grounding something so simple can be. he still feels anxious, but slightly less so.</p><p>chan still hasn’t said where they’re going. it becomes clear, however, as soon as they turn down a certain street. jisung glances up at the other with a knowing glance, but chan doesn’t notice, keeping his eyes turned forward. or maybe he does. the small, almost unnoticeable smirk on chan’s face tells him that the leader actually does notice.</p><p>the music store comes into view not long after.</p><p>“is it weird that i feel calmer just by seeing that place?” jisung asks out loud, not even having to clarify what store he’s talking about in order for chan to understand. the pair of them have been going to yellow wood together for as long as they’ve known each other. or in other words, for nearly thirteen years now.</p><p>“no, i get what you mean”, chan agrees. “i think it’s the nostalgia. we’ve only been there, what? maybe one time since we formed stray kids. we’ve barely visited recently, so all our memories there are from childhood.”</p><p>jisung still remembers the first time they had gone to the yellow wood music store together. chan had been ten at the time, jisung only seven. the boy recalls sulking almost the entire day after getting hurt in practice, and then chan, his self-proclaimed older brother (even though jisung kept insisting that he already had a brother and didn’t need another one), had taken jisung with him to sneak out after dinner.</p><p>that was the first time either of them visited yellow wood. chan, despite being the one to take them there, had never actually been inside, only seen it when passing by outside and decided to remember it for later.</p><p>since then, it’s been the place he always takes jisung whenever the younger feels bad. the first time, it had been because the seven year old had gotten scolded, but there have been plenty of times since then.</p><p>now he can add ‘getting benched’ to the list of reasons why chan has taken him to yellow wood.</p><p>“it looks the same”, chan comments as he opens the door and holds it open for jisung to enter. the younger doesn’t respond, but he agrees. it’s one of the reasons he likes this place so much.</p><p>the records on the shelves differentiate, and his view of the store has changed as he grew taller over the years, yet the store itself has always been the same. it’s comforting to know.</p><p>“hello, jisungie. hi, channie”, a familiar voice says from behind the counter further into the store. jisung looks up at the woman and waves with a small smile on his face.</p><p>“hi, sana”, chan greets. he then turns his face to jisung. “you can pick two albums today, since it’s been so long since last time.”</p><p>after saying that, chan heads over to the counter to catch up with his friend, leaving an excited jisung behind to look around the store on his own. this is also a part of the tradition when they go here. chan lets jisung pick out an album, which the older will buy for him.</p><p>an addition in recent years, though, is the part where chan gets distracted by talking to his crush (“no, jisung, i don’t have a crush on her! she’s just nice, okay?”), the girl who took over yellow wood after the previous owner left only a few years prior.</p><p>the new owner just so happens to be a former jyp trainee, one that both chan, jisung and changbin had been relatively close with when they were in training together. chan especially so.</p><p>jisung can hear them talking to each other as he browses through the albums. he has an idea of what album he would like to get today, but still likes to take his time and really look through everything they have here. he loves music, and thinks he would have wanted to become a songwriter or maybe a producer, had his life not turned out the way it did.</p><p>eventually, he decides on two albums he wants to get today, and brings them over to the counter where chan and sana are still talking. he hangs back for a few seconds, letting them finish whatever conversation they’re currently in the middle of, waiting for chan to turn around whenever he’s done.</p><p>jisung nearly has time to get distracted again before chan finally turns his head, sending the younger a small smile.</p><p>“found something?” he asks, even though he knows the answer. jisung nods and hands over the albums.</p><p>while chan is busy paying for the albums, jisung notices that they have keychains right next to the cash register and takes a step closer to get a better look. most of them seem to be music themed. there are miniature records, instruments, and-…</p><p>jisung waits until chan is done before he tries to catch sana's attention. doing so is impossible without also getting chan’s attention, so jisung has to find some way to get him away from here.</p><p>“channie hyung, can i please say something to sana noona? alone?”</p><p>chan is definitely suspicious of this, but luckily, he doesn’t question it. he simply nods and moves to go wait outside. sana only looks confused by everything.</p><p>once the door is closed behind chan, sana gives jisung a look. she doesn’t get the chance to ask about it, not before jisung is opening his previously closed hand and shows the woman what he’s holding.</p><p>“take it”, sana says immediately, warmth seeping into her voice now that she understands the situation. there’s not even a second of hesitation.</p><p>jisung is about to open his mouth and argue about paying for it, but sana beats him to it.</p><p>“i know you’re gonna give it to him as a gift, and honestly, it fits him too well for me to charge you for it. take it.”</p><p>jisung’s whole face lights up as he smiles brightly at her.</p><p>“thank you, thank you so much noona!”</p><p>-</p><p>chan turns around when he hears the door opening and shoots jisung a questioning look as he steps out from the store, clearly asking what it is he had to talk to sana about. instead of answering chan’s silent question, jisung holds out his closed hand.</p><p>“hold out your palm, hyung”, he instructs. chan obliges without any objection, curious about what jisung is doing right now.</p><p>then, once chan is holding out his hand, palm facing up, jisung drops the keychain onto his hand before looking up at the older’s face with a smile.</p><p>“i got you a gift, hyung!”</p><p>chan brings it closer to his face to inspect it, while jisung tries to read the other’s expression to get some sense of what his reaction is. he’s not called an expert on body language for nothing, a skill he’s very glad he has at the moment.</p><p>there’s a bit of surprise, some thoughtfulness, but mostly a soft sort of happiness.</p><p>chan looks up to meet jisung’s gaze.</p><p>“you better know i’m never taking this off my keys now”, he says, and even though his voice is light, there’s no joking tone to it. jisung’s smile widens a bit.</p><p>“i saw that and i thought it fit you so well, so i had to get you to leave the store so i could get it for you”, jisung says, explaining why he’d asked chan to leave earlier. “but sana noona agreed that it really was meant for you, so she gave it to me for free.”</p><p>chan snorts.</p><p>“nice little shit”, he comments fondly. jisung has heard chan say rude things in a kind tone way too many times by now to be confused by this statement.</p><p>he watches as chan attaches the tiny wolf to his key ring. then, chan lifts his other hand, where jisung now remembers he’s holding the bag with his new albums, and holds it out for the younger to take.</p><p>“thank you”, jisung says, but chan tries to wave it off. jisung won’t have that, so he stops and stares at the older. “i said thank you”.</p><p>“why are you repeating yourself?” chan asks, still smiling. jisung huffs.</p><p>“no hyung, you’re supposed to say ‘you’re welcome’! come on, repeat after me: you’re welcome, jisung.”</p><p>chan rolls his eyes, but must sense that jisung is serious with this, so he does as requested.</p><p>“you’re welcome, jisung.”</p><p>“great! now say, ‘i am the best leader in the world, and also the best father, and also the kindest human being to ever grace this earth with his presence, i am a god among mortals-…”</p><p>chan smacks jisung on the arm, to which the boy yelps in faked pain as he moves out of reach of the older.</p><p>he doesn’t miss the genuine smile on chan’s face, though.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>stays whenever they need a number for their fanfic: 4419! 0325!</p><p>stays whenever they need to name a store/cafe/school/literally anything: yellow wood! district 9! levanter! [insert pretty much any skz song reference]!!</p><p>anyway. hope you enjoyed the wholesome chansung this chapter :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. vi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>talking to chaeyoung in the medic wing had reminded jisung that he has friends outside of stray kids. obviously, they’re so close that it would be accurate to call them family (changbin and minho had drunkenly tried to figure out the family dynamics a while back, and apparently jisung is one of the family’s triplets). at this point, he would honestly be offended by anyone calling them colleagues, even though that’s what they are, technically.</p><p>still. the other stray kids members may be the most important people in his life, but that doesn’t mean his life started when stray kids formed. after all, he’s been at jyp since he was four years old, and the majority of the other members joined when he was around fifteen, so jisung is bound to have made friends before then.</p><p>that’s why he takes the opportunity while the others are busy preparing for the mission to look around the agency and see if he can find any old friends to talk to.</p><p>in the first training room he enters, he finds his only current juniors at the agency: itzy. they don’t know each other as well as he knows other people here, but they’ve talked enough for him to feel comfortable staying for a bit.</p><p>they don’t notice him when he enters the room. three of them are busy in front of a mirror, and after observing the trio for a few seconds, jisung sees that they’re in the middle of learning the choreography to boy with luv, and he grins.</p><p>the other two girls are sitting on the floor at the back of the room, looking like they’re in the middle of a discussion. jisung recognizes them as the two itzy members that are the same age as him, born in 2000: yeji and lia. he makes his way over to them.</p><p>yeji is the first to notice him, sending a small smile toward him as she listens to whatever lia is saying, the other girl not noticing him as she’s too deep in their conversation. jisung stops right next to them and waits for lia to finish speaking before saying anything.</p><p>“-and you know, dolphins are the only species other than humans who have sex for pleasure, and not just reproduction!” lia tells the other girl, still not having noticed jisung’s presence.</p><p>the boy furrows his eyebrows in thought.</p><p>“what about monkeys?” he asks, having no idea what the context of this conversation is, but finding it kind of funny. lia looks up at him, not even surprised to find him standing there, before answering.</p><p>“there are different kinds of monkeys”, she says. “a few of them have sex for pleasure, but most of them don’t. so yeah, i guess you’re half-right.”</p><p>“are you done?” yeji asks, glancing at lia. the other sticks her tongue out at this, and jisung almost laughs as he thinks that jyp certainly has a talent for finding the weirdest agents. he doesn’t remember that being a comedian is one of the requirements to join the agency, but it might as well be, if this is what their conversations are normally like.</p><p>yeji then turns away from lia and looks at jisung instead.</p><p>“i thought stray kids were preparing for a mission”, she comments, probably asking why he’s out here chilling when he has important things to do. the question really gives off some leader vibes. it’s exactly like something chan would ask if he finds someone where they’re not supposed to be.</p><p>jisung scrunches up his face, looking disgusted.</p><p>“i got benched”, he replies in the most dramatic voice he can, glad when he manages to make at least lia laugh with this. yeji simply raises her eyebrows.</p><p>“wow”, she deadpans. “great performance, truly impressing. you look absolutely disgusted just thinking about it.”</p><p>that was his goal all along, so jisung shoots finger guns and grins at her, to which yeji responds by doing the same gesture right back at him.</p><p>“oh, how i wish i was bisexual so i could do that, too”, lia says, gesturing to their finger guns. she then wipes a fake tear from the corner of her eye. “it’s so hard being the token straight girl.”</p><p>jisung actually laughs at this, not being able to take her seriously at all. they’re way funnier than he remembers from the other times they’ve interacted, though that has mostly been in training or for other serious reasons, so maybe he shouldn’t be too surprised by their personalities.</p><p>once they’ve all calmed down a little, he goes to sit down next to them, not wanting to be looking down on them now that they’re talking.</p><p>“so how’s hyunjin?” yeji asks, successfully turning the conversation in a more sensible direction. jisung had honestly forgotten that they’re related up until now, which is weird considering how similar the hwang siblings are are.</p><p>“oh, you know, same old”, he replies. “accidentally started a fire when he was boiling water yesterday, tried to blame it on the placement of jupiter or some bullshit.”</p><p>lia is the only one who looks surprised at this, while yeji simply rolls her eyes.</p><p>“if he started a fire, it probably has more to do with the placement of saturn than jupiter”, yeji says, as if it’s completely obvious. jisung isn’t sure if she’s joking or not.</p><p>he sticks around for a while longer to talk to the two girls, joking and catching up with each other’s lives, which mostly means talking about their latest missions.</p><p>he has a pretty nice morning.</p><p>-</p><p>when jisung eventually decides to leave the practice room and go search for someone else to talk with, he almost hits someone with the door when he opens it to step out into the hallway.</p><p>the person jumps aside in time, though, and jisung realizes with a jolt that the person in question is bambam. someone else is walking right behind the first boy, and jisung knows that person, as well.</p><p>“bambam hyung! yugyeom hyung!” jisung exclaims, closing the door to the practice room and smiling widely at the two older agents.</p><p>“jisung!” bambam replies just as enthusiastically. “it’s been a while, man.”</p><p>the pair of them were always closer to chan, them being the same age and all, but jisung knows both bambam and yugyeom well enough to be happy to see them. it’s not like they’re strangers just because they’re not each other’s closest friends.</p><p>“yeah, man!” yugyeom agrees. “last time i saw you, you were… actually, never mind. you’re still just as short.”</p><p>“hey!” jisung huffs indignantly at this. “just because you’re a freaking giant…”</p><p>bambam laughs, while yugyeom tries to fake an offended expression. it looks kind of hilarious, and only serves to make the other two laugh harder.</p><p>once he has calmed down a bit, it hits jisung that the two got7 members are probably on their way somewhere right now, and maybe he shouldn’t keep them here.</p><p>“are you on mission?” he asks, hoping to remind them in case they have a place to be.</p><p>bambam’s expression turns serious.</p><p>“i mean, we have one”, he states vaguely. “not sure how well that’s going.”</p><p>“don’t sound so pessimistic”, yugyeom says. “just because everything's fucked up now doesn’t mean it can’t get better.”</p><p>jisung recalls the information he’d gotten from his brother’s friends, the part where some captured criminals escaped from jyp, criminals that had been caught by got7. maybe that’s their current case, to get back the ones that escaped.</p><p>“oh”, jisung says. “is this about the yg agents that escaped?”</p><p>if the other two are surprised to hear that jisung knows about this, they don’t show it.</p><p>“yeah”, bambam confirms.</p><p>“we had a lot of information the first time, almost as if they wanted to be found, but now there’s absolutely nothing”, yugyeom says with a frown.</p><p>jisung hopes this isn’t somehow foreboding for their own mission, because their information has also been very clear and straightforward, making it almost laughably easy for them to get this far without complications (aside from jisung getting benched, but that has nothing with the actual mission to do).</p><p>he really, really hopes these two missions are unrelated, or they’ll be in for something much bigger than they’d thought.</p><p>-</p><p>while jisung spends his time around the jyp building, the rest of them are all holed up in the apartment, spending almost every moment working on the case. there had been a lot of information in the file they got from jyp, so it’s been rather easy, but they know that the true test will be once they’re actually on site.</p><p>either way, the plan is falling into place. not that there’s anything special about it. they’ll go to the meeting place and hide, with seungmin and jeongin looking over the situation by hacking into some nearby surveillance cameras, and wait for a moment to strike. the most important part is to not let anyone get away. take out the drivers, maybe damage some car wheels, and they should be good to go.</p><p>it always sounds easier when they’re planning compared to when they get there, but this time, it seems like it will go well.</p><p>they gather in the living room for a final meeting on the day before the mission. jisung is there too, despite not being involved anymore, but he likes feeling included.</p><p>“does everyone know what they’re doing?” chan asks, looking around at all of their faces.</p><p>“on the mission, or with life in general?” felix questions.</p><p>“probably the mission”, changbin assumes, to which their leader nods in confirmation. he looks mildly amused by the fact that the clarification was even needed.</p><p>“oh, good”, felix says, his voice filled with relief. “my answer would have been very different otherwise. but yeah, i know what i’m doing for the mission.”</p><p>one by one, everyone else agrees.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>time for mission!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. vii</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>as soon as the apartment door closes behind the rest of their members, jisung starts feeling restless. seungmin and jeongin have already retreated into the office room from where they’ll be overseeing the whole mission, and jisung is meant to be with them in there. he’s not too excited to start, though. if going on a mission is stressful, then jisung thinks looking at a mission with no way to actually help in case things go south is at least ten times worse. had he been with them on site, he knows what he can do if someone else gets in trouble. here, all they can do is exchange information and hope that’s it’s helpful to the ones in danger right now.</p>
<p><em>how do seungmin and jeongin deal with this all the time?</em> jisung thinks as he heads into the office to join the pair, somehow feeling even more useless than he has in the previous days.</p>
<p>they’re both seated in front of a computer screen each, a microphone set up on the table that they can use to communicate with the others through the earpieces they all wear during missions. it’s been a long time since jisung was on this side of it.</p>
<p>he refrains from letting out a sigh as he settles down in a chair behind the pair, preparing to be anxious and restless for at least an hour from now. all he wishes is for it to pass quickly.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>they don’t talk much to the other members, simply because it’s not needed. the three of them can see everyone else on screen when they first enter the backstreet where the exchange is supposed to take place, but then the group splits up and they go into hiding, disappearing out of view from the security cameras. from there, all there’s left to do is wait. jisung decides that he hates it more when he’s behind a screen compared to when he’s the one out on the field.</p>
<p>barely five minutes have passed when an alert pops up on seungmin’s screen, and jisung leans forward to see what it is as the younger starts typing, most likely trying to fix whatever issue just arose.</p>
<p>a second later, the same alert pops up on jeongin’s screen, and jisung frowns.</p>
<p>ERROR: ACCESS DENIED</p>
<p>he’s almost entirely sure that’s not supposed to happen. the big, red letters seem almost mocking as jisung stares at them, unable to help in any way as seungmin and jeongin both try to get rid of the message and get back to having the surveillance system on fullscreen.</p>
<p>seungmin types something that makes the message disappear. jisung is about to relax again, when suddenly, both of their screens go black.</p>
<p>“at least you made the alert go away”, jisung comments, as both boys try in vain to get back to the page that just disappeared.</p>
<p>before he can say anything else, a sharp pain shoots through his head, and jisung bites down on his tongue to not make any noise. it hurts, a lot, and it came on way quicker than last time. for a split second, he’s not going to say anything, but then he figures that the other two will be way more freaked out if he faints without them knowing that his head hurts, compared to if he tells them beforehand.</p>
<p>“my head hurts”, jisung informs the others in what he hopes is a controlled tone. jeongin snaps his head around to face him with widened eyes, looking like he’s about to get up from his seat, but jisung gestures for him to stay. “just thought i should tell you. it’s fine so far, i can handle it. focus on getting back into the security feed instead.”</p>
<p>“you’ll tell us if it gets worse”, seungmin says without looking away from the screen. there’s no room for arguments. not that jisung would have argued with this, since it’s the least he can do, both for their sake and his own.</p>
<p>“does the mic still work?” jisung asks, wincing as another stab of pain shoots through his head. it’s not any stronger than the first one, and he thinks that as long as it doesn’t get worse, he’ll be able to deal with it.</p>
<p>“nope”, jeongin answers him. “i’m working on it, though.”</p>
<p>it’s barely been two seconds since he spoke when the entire room goes dark. based on the lack of light from the hallway aside, the same thing appears to have happened in the rest of the apartment. jisung feels like laughing out loud. things just can’t go right for them today, huh?</p>
<p>“power went out…” seungmin mumbles, standing up from his seat quickly. “stay here, i’ll go check the switchboard, see if it can be fixed. keep trying to get the security feed back, or get the mic to start working. just do anything, really. we’re blind right now.”</p>
<p>he’s gone before they can protest. not that they were about to do so. without power, they don’t have light, but what’s worse is that their internet doesn’t work, meaning no research other than in the jyp database. even though they’ve already been kicked out from the surveillance system, electricity would be good if they want to attempt to finish this mission.</p>
<p>“do you think it’ll be fine?” jeongin asks. his voice isn’t weak, but jisung can pick out the underlying fear and worry that the younger is most likely trying to hide.</p>
<p>“i think all of us are competent people, and will do our very best to make sure that things go well”, jisung replies. he doesn’t like lying to his teammates, and always avoids doing it, which is why he won’t outright say that everything will be fine in case it doesn’t turn out that way. he thinks jeongin appreciates this answer more, anyway. it’s genuine, and the boy prefers honesty over comfort. jisung is happy to provide that.</p>
<p>they wait for several minutes for seungmin to come back. jeongin is still attempting to get back into the security cameras, though his attention is so unfocused, jisung isn’t sure if there’s any point of him even trying.</p>
<p>“innie, you should go check on seungmin, see if he needs help”, he suggests. the look the maknae gives him tells jisung everything he needs to know. there’s something in his expression that’s only ever there when jeongin is feeling protective or worried, usually over one of the other members. jisung can make a pretty good guess as to what it is this time.</p>
<p>“but i don’t wanna leave you alone, hyung”, jeongin says, confirming what jisung had been thinking.</p>
<p>he tries not to speak too harshly to the younger.</p>
<p>“i get that, but i’ll be fine. it’s not like i’ll go anywhere, even if my headache does make me pass out. you can prioritize the mission this time.”</p>
<p>“that doesn’t make it any better, hyung”, jeongin comments, but he still stands up from his seat, looking down at jisung as he considers the words. “are you absolutely sure you’ll be fine?”</p>
<p>“yes! now go, seungmin might need you.”</p>
<p>jeongin nods once, and then he’s off.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>waiting is usually the most boring part of every mission, every single sound causing at least one member to whip their head around, and even the smallest movements has them tensing up. it’s a well known fact that this is also the most nerve wracking part, for the same exact reason.</p>
<p>they get closer and closer to the time the meeting is going to take place, but there’s still no sign of the weapon smugglers, nor of the buyers. every stray kids member is on edge where they’re waiting in their hiding spots around the backstreet.</p>
<p>and then the supposed time passes. still no sign of anyone. they don’t dare break the silence in fear of missing something, or accidentally giving away their hiding spot. or, technically, their two hiding spots, since the group has split up to hide on either side of the street.</p>
<p>when minho lifts a hand to his earpiece to ask seungmin about it, there’s no response. it wouldn’t be unusual for him to take a moment to reply if he had been on his own over there, but not when there’s three of them following the situation from home. something’s wrong. the only question is what.</p>
<p>“maybe they gave us the wrong location?” felix suggests when twenty minutes have passed and the street is still as silent as ever. it wouldn’t be the first time some of their information has been incorrect, as annoying as it is.</p>
<p>“or maybe the whole thing is fake”, minho responds.</p>
<p>“why would it be fake?” changbin asks, even though he can come up with plenty of reasons why it would be. the criminals could have planted a false trace, or this could be a distraction from whatever they’re doing right now, or a trap…</p>
<p>before anyone has time to answer him, hyunjin stands up from where the other two are hiding on the other side of the street and walks out into plain sight. chan grasps after him while hissing a low “hyunjin!”, but doesn’t manage to stop the boy in time.</p>
<p>“hello?” hyunjin yells, turning to look around the empty street where they’ve found themselves. the three boys on the other side all quiet down to watch him, as does chan, where he’s been left behind in his and hyunjin’s spot around a corner. “is anyone coming?”</p>
<p>the rest of them don’t hear anything, but something seems to catch hyunjin’s attention, because he turns swiftly toward the entrance of a small alleyway further down the street. no one tries to stop him. mainly because there doesn’t appear to be any dangers here, but also because they know he’s fully capable of defending himself, should he need to. besides, they’re only a few feet away.</p>
<p>hyunjin stops at the opening to the alley, staring down it. it’s way darker in here, no lights for him to get a clear view of what’s down there, but he could’ve sworn he just heard something move.</p>
<p>“han jisung?”</p>
<p>hyunjin freezes in his place at the sound of a woman’s voice speaking the name of one of his friends, a name she almost definitely is not supposed to know.</p>
<p>a head pokes out from behind a dumpster a second later. hyunijn gets no clear view, the shadows hiding most of her features, but she’s wearing a hood and a pair of dark jeans. she looks harmless, but looks can be deceiving, something the boy is highly aware of. his muscles are tensing up, preparing to either fight or run away, but the woman only watches him for a short moment.</p>
<p>before hyunjin has time to do anything else, she turns around and bolts down the alleyway. hyunjin doesn’t even have to think about following her, deciding almost immediately that it’s not where he’s most needed right now. instead, he stands completely still for another second while the unfamiliar woman disappears around a corner, until the situation catches up to him.</p>
<p>“someone call jisung!” he shouts, turning back around toward the others. “guys, we gotta get back to the apartment. now! something's not right.”</p>
<p>they all step out from their hiding spots to come closer, immediately taking notice of how tense he looks. if the words weren’t enough, his expression surely is.</p>
<p>“who was that?” chan questions, the only other person who had been in a position from which he could get even a vague view of the unidentified figure.</p>
<p>“that woman knows who jisung is, and she was expecting him to be here. she probably thought i was him, because she ran away as soon as she saw my face.”</p>
<p>chan pales.</p>
<p>“this meeting, it was a distraction…” he mumbles, and the realization hits the rest of them a second later. “i knew we should have been worried about how much jyp knew about this. all the information was way too easy. these weapon smugglers, if that’s what they really are, they wanted us to know where and when to be. that’s the only reason we had the information. they wanted us to be here at this exact time, to distract us from their real plan.”</p>
<p>they had been expecting to meet a group of weapon smugglers and a group of buyers, but instead they find a woman who is, for some reason, expecting jisung to be here. jisung would have been here, had he not been benched earlier. the fact that he isn’t here right now…</p>
<p>it’s either fate, or bad luck. all they can do is hope that this wasn’t a part of whatever plan these criminals have, a plan that they have yet to figure out what it is.</p>
<p>they have their own car parked nearby, and they all rush there as fast as they can while minho tries to get the earpiece to work, their worry growing with every failed attempt.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>chan has barely stopped the car when the members start getting out, practically flying up toward the door to the apartment complex. the front door is thrown open before chan even has time to lock the car behind him.</p>
<p>hyunjin, who had been first to enter the building, is about to start rushing up the stairs toward their apartment when someone grabs his arm to stop him. he turns his head around and sees changbin. the older gestures toward an open door that hyunjin had completely missed in his hurry to get upstairs, one that he’s pretty sure has a sign that reads maintenance, or something similar. the sign can’t be seen from where they’re standing now, not when the door is open.</p>
<p>everyone else has stopped behind changbin, and when they see him gesturing toward the open door, they all turn that way to look.</p>
<p>felix is first to approach it.</p>
<p>he stops in the opening, pushing it open a bit more to get a better view inside. the rest of them are prepared for him to say that there’s nothing there, to tell them to keep moving toward their apartment, but then felix gasps.</p>
<p>“innie!” he exclaims right before disappearing into the room, and after exchanging a few surprised glances, everyone else follows. chan walks behind the rest of the group out of habit, but when he hears jeongin’s voice coming from inside the small room, he makes his way to the front.</p>
<p>there’s another door in the small room they’ve found themselves in, and jeongin is standing right in front of it.</p>
<p>“it’s locked”, jeongin says. “and seungmin hyung is in there. i’ve been trying to get him out.”</p>
<p>“step back”, chan tells him, and jeongin widens his eyes, but does as he’s told.</p>
<p>chan bends down on the floor in front of it, taking something out of his pocket before inserting it into the keyhole. he’s picking the lock, jeongin realizes.</p>
<p>it doesn’t take too long before he’s standing up again, swinging the door open.</p>
<p>the door doesn’t even have time to open fully before seungmin is speaking.</p>
<p>“someone was in the building”, he announces as he takes a step out. the rest of them don’t even have a chance to ask about the situation before he explains. “i didn’t see them, but i heard footsteps after the door closed and locked me in. they ran up the stairs.” his eyes then land on jeongin, his brows furrowing slightly. “jisung is still upstairs, right? the person who locked me in, they didn’t get to our apartment?”</p>
<p>that question has all of them running.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i wish i could say that jisung's headaches weren't based on the "MEURI APEUDA"-part in side effects, but i would be lying :/</p>
<p>anyway. sorry for ending it like that, but i don't regret it :p</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. viii</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>jisung realizes that he must have blacked out the same second he comes back to consciousness. after jeongin left, his headache had gotten worse and he’d tried to get to the couch, but he remembers not making it there before the pain got too bad for him to keep his eyes open.</p><p>he doesn’t open them now, either, despite being awake. no. because, only a moment after remembering that he must have passed out, he notices that he’s sitting upright and that there’s something binding him to the back of whatever uncomfortable chair he’s in.</p><p>tied up.</p><p>he can’t fully make sense of it yet, but something must have happened after he fainted, because as far as he’s aware, none of his members would ever come up with the idea to tie him to a chair when he blacks out. wow, what a funny prank that would be (not).</p><p>no, that’s not an option right now, meaning that he must have been taken. kidnapped, his brain helpfully supplies, and jisung tries not to wince. the only thing keeping him from freaking out is focusing on trying to figure out as much as possible without alerting whoever else is in here with him that he’s awake.</p><p>there are footsteps. not too close to him, and they don’t sound very heavy, enough that he doesn’t notice them at first. they’re there, though, and the sound tells him that the room he’s in should be pretty huge. the ground underneath his feet isn’t smooth, leading him to believe that it’s concrete, or something similar.</p><p>big room with concrete floor. a warehouse, maybe? it’s the best guess he can make without opening his eyes.</p><p>that being said (more like thought, since he’s not actually speaking out loud), he thinks it’s time to open his eyes now.</p><p>a warehouse. that’s what he sees when he finally stops pretending to still be unconscious, and takes a look around the big, concrete space. there are overhanging lamps up in the tall ceiling, but they’re too far away to make the room very bright. there are also small windows placed pretty high up on the walls, so high that they nearly touch the ceiling.</p><p>and guards. he can count at least three from where he’s sitting, all of them armed and sticking to one part of the room each. there’s a door close to one of the corners the furthest from where jisung is sitting.</p><p>the guard closest to him turns his way, and a wicked grin spreads across the man’s face when he sees jisung looking back at him.</p><p>he strolls over at a way too slow pace. clearly comfortable with the situation.</p><p>“i see you’re awake”, the man says. jisung assumes he’s either in a gang, or an agent from yg. that probably makes the most sense.</p><p>“good to know your eyes work”, jisung quips back, trying to get a feeling of how short this man’s patience is. considering his smile doesn’t even falter, jisung thinks he can probably get away with quite a lot before the man snaps.</p><p>“i’m guessing you know who we are”, the man says. jisung frowns, and gives a small shake of his head. this seems to surprise him. “oh, really? in that case…”</p><p>he turns around and pulls down the neckline of his shirt a bit, enough for jisung to be able to see the tattoo he has there. YG. well, that confirms jisung’s suspicions, then.</p><p>the man turns back around to face him.</p><p>“we would have prefered to do this with both of you here.” both of you? jisung has no idea who this other person could be. “so tell me. where is your brother?”</p><p>oh shit. <em>that’s</em> the other person.</p><p>“i know you won’t believe me, but i don’t know. he’s on a mission with his group right now. i won’t know anything about his mission until they’re done with it”, jisung replies. he can tell that his calmness catches the other agent off-guard, but it’s better to keep his lies as close to the truth as possible. if he starts acting panicked, they’re less likely to believe him. if he acts exactly how he’s feeling, and weaves his lies very closely to the truth, he has a better chance of tricking them.</p><p>he’s not feeling very panicked right now, so he won’t put on an act of being scared.</p><p>in his own mind, some puzzle pieces are starting to fall into place. not enough for him to have any idea of what’s going on, but enough to clue him in a little bit.</p><p>these yg agents want both him and younghyun, which means that this most likely has with their parents to do. why else would they want both brothers? maybe yg wants to punish them for their parents’ crimes, since their parents died before yg could catch them again.</p><p>“are you going to kill me?” jisung asks. the agent looks like he’s been expecting the question, and a grin takes over his face once jisung does. the boy does not like how it makes him look.</p><p>“oh no, why would we? there are far worse punishments”, the guy says.</p><p>punishments? in that case, this might actually be about his parents. they’re going to punish him for what his parents did, when they escaped yg all those years ago.</p><p>the door to the warehouse slams open, and he hears loud voices echoing through the room. jisung turns his head and sees a few people dressed similarly to the other guards in here, as well as two other figures that are struggling against their hold. none of them look like younghyun though, which calms jisung slightly, even though he doesn’t get a good view of them from where he’s sitting.</p><p>as they get closer, jisung sees that one is a female, dressed in dark jeans and with a hood pulled up to cover her face, though it’s close to falling down.</p><p>the other is male, also wearing jeans, but without a hood covering his face.</p><p>jisung can’t tear his eyes away. not even when the man meets his gaze, and an expression of pure shock falls over the familiar features of his face.</p><p>“no, no, no…” the man whispers. he turns toward his captivators, still trying to tear himself free. “not jisung! you already have us, let him go! not jisung!”</p><p>the woman’s hood finally falls down as she whips her head up to stare at jisung. jisung stares right back at her, into the eyes that are oh so similar to his own. it almost feels like meeting his own gaze.</p><p>“mom…” jisung whispers. he turns his head to the man. “dad…”</p><p>-</p><p>as soon as it’s clear that jisung isn’t anywhere to be found, and that no obvious trace has been left by whatever made him disappear (“you mean whoever made him disappear.” “we can’t know that for sure, minho”), silence falls over the apartment.</p><p>most of them seem to gravitate towards the living room, which is where they always hold their group meetings, while seungmin instead heads for the office room to see what happened with everything they had open on their computers. obviously, they got kicked out of the security system, but it wouldn’t be good to leave anything open. he figures he should make sure to turn everything off properly before joining the others in the living room. it’ll give him something to focus on, if only for a short while.</p><p>when he turns on the computer, though, the sight that greets him is not familiar in the slightest.</p><p>“jeongin!” he shouts, but of course, everyone who hears it hurries toward the room at this and not just jeongin. privacy? they don’t know her. not that it matters much in their current situation, all things considered. it’s probably best if they share every new piece of information with each other as soon as they get it, if they want to find jisung faster.</p><p>jeongin is the last person to enter the room, but the first one to reach seungmin over by the screens, making his way past all the other members in a rush to see what had seungmin yelling his name. he frowns at the view on the computer screen.</p><p>“is that a map?” the youngest boy questions. “i don’t remember opening that.”</p><p>“that’s because we didn’t”, seungmin says. he then frowns. “i don’t recognize the program, either…”</p><p>almost as soon as he’s done speaking, a red dot shows up on the open map. both boys frown, and then chan’s voice speaks up.</p><p>“isn’t that down by the docks?” he comments, gesturing to the red dot. “looks like those big buildings, the storehouses or whatever they are.”</p><p>seungmin looks back at the screen, and is struck with a thought.</p><p>“do you think…” he trails off, not sure if he actually wants to say what he’s thinking. based on how everyone is looking at him, it doesn’t seem like he has a choice. he continues. “do you think they might have kidnapped jisung, and left this for us? i dunno, either as a trap or a meeting place. we still don’t know why they would want to take him, so it’s hard to say which one it is.”</p><p>chan’s expression is tense when he meets seungmin’s gaze.</p><p>“meeting in the living room, now. we have to go over everything we know. and someone should contact jyp.”</p><p>-</p><p>what they manage to summarize during the meeting is:</p><p>they were given a mission by jyp. the case file had plenty of information about what was going to happen, but no information about the weapon smugglers they were supposed to catch. nothing seemed off when minho and jisung went to do their stakeout, watching the criminals steal the weapons, not until yg was mentioned.</p><p>suspicious? yes. enough for them to be worried? no.</p><p>jisung went to talk to his brother for unknown reasons. might have something to do with the case, might not. there’s no way for them to know without asking one of the brothers, and considering one of them is currently missing, that might not be so easy.</p><p>anyway. jisung then got benched after blacking out from a headache, something that hasn’t happened in several years. that part is a bit more suspicious, but it doesn’t make sense for it to be connected to their mission. after all, he used to blackout a lot more frequently back in the days, way before this mission even existed.</p><p>they went to the site where the weapon smugglers were supposed to meet with the buyers, and found that no one was there except a strange woman who for some reason was expecting jisung to be there. or hoping he would be there. they can’t be sure.</p><p>that’s what they could say during their meeting in the living room, and none of it is proving to be very helpful when it comes to figuring out the jisung situation. as far as they know, these criminals have no reason to want jisung. then again, they have essentially no information about the group that’s behind this.</p><p>in the end, they’re left with a few underdeveloped ideas as to what might have happened, not having a lot to go on.</p><p>“i feel like my brain is getting fried”, felix comments, rubbing a hand over his forehead.</p><p>“me too”, changbin agrees. “we have way too many pieces of unconnected information. it’s like trying to build a puzzle when you don’t know what the final picture is supposed to look like.”</p><p>“it would help to know if jisung got kidnapped because he’s jisung, or if he just got in the way when they broke in”, minho says.</p><p>“but they didn’t take anything else”, hyunjin joins in. “so obviously they were here for us, or jisung specifically. it’s not a question of whether or not they were after him, it’s a question of why.”</p><p>chan stands up of his seat so suddenly that it makes jeongin jump backward and accidentally slams into seungmin’s face, and the older boy groans in pain.</p><p>“i’m so dumb…” he mutters, pulling a hand through his hair harshly. their leader looks around the room, at all of their confused faces. “the criminals we’ve been trying to stop this entire time are yg agents.”</p><p>“yeah, we know that already”, changbin comments, to which felix responds by slapping his arm and whispering ‘let him speak!’. chan sends a grateful look to the other australian.</p><p>“and i’m so dumb for not making the connection earlier. of course they’re after jisung, he’s the only one here who has any sort of connection to yg!”</p><p>this has everyone even more confused. as far as they know, jisung has been at jyp since he was a kid, so having been a part of another agency doesn’t really fit into the timeline of his life.</p><p>“it’s because of his parents”, chan then says, and that’s when things begin to make sense. “they were agents at yg for a long while, before deciding to leave. obviously, that’s not exactly allowed, so they couldn’t just walk out. they had to escape.”</p><p>“would they be chased, then?” seungmin wonders.</p><p>“exactly.” chan nods. “they spent the rest of their lives running from yg. younghyun hyung was a baby when they escaped, and jisung was born a few years later. but as you know, there was a car accident, and his parents didn’t make it, so yg never got the chance to punish them for what they did.”</p><p>it’s quiet for a few moments as everyone processes this.</p><p>“wait”, minho speaks up, turning his eyes to their leader. “do you think they’re after jisung to punish him for what his parents did? yg doesn’t seem like the type of person to let a betrayal go unpunished, and if his parents aren’t there to take the punishment themselves…”</p><p>things begin to make sense.</p><p>a second later, chan’s phone rings.</p><p>-</p><p>none of them can remember a single time jyp has visited them in their apartment. this is a first. it’s kind of awkward to watch their boss walk through their living space, almost like showing him a part of themselves that’s way too personal for someone who’s technically your boss, but they have no time to think about that in the current situation.</p><p>he’s here about the mission.</p><p>chan shows him to the living room and offers the man a seat in one of the armchairs, but jyp shakes his head, choosing to remain standing. the rest of the members file in behind them, sitting down around the room. it would be too awkward if all of them stand up.</p><p>“how much do you know so far?” jyp breaks the silence.</p><p>chan glances around at his members before replying.</p><p>“we talked it over, and i think we may have figured out why jisung was taken, considering the criminals are yg agents.”</p><p>“we didn’t figure out anything, chan hyung did”, changbin adds, to which chan sends him a look that clearly tells him to be quiet. changbin apologizes, but doesn’t look the tiniest bit remorseful.</p><p>jyp nods thoughtfully.</p><p>“that’s what i think, as well. yg wants to punish his children for what their parents did. i’ve already sent younghyun to a safe house along with the rest of his members, to make sure that they don’t try to take him.”</p><p>“we have to get jisung back”, minho says. chan is about to scold him for interrupting, but jyp merely looks at the boy for a moment before nodding.</p><p>“we do. but there are some things you should know first, about jisung and about his parents. i knew them before the accident. quite well, actually. that’s why jisung and younghyun were sent to me after their parents were declared dead. i was the only one their parents trusted to keep their kids safe. in fact, i helped them fake the car accident that was supposed to throw yg off their tracks.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. ix</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the car ride to the warehouse is silent. their conversation with jyp is still fresh in everyone’s mind, but they barely have any time to think about that, not when there’s a much more important issue they have to focus on: getting jisung back.</p><p>jisung, whose parents used to be agents at yg. jisung, whose parents faked their own deaths in an attempt to save their children from the wrath of yg after they left the agency.</p><p>they wonder if the boy knows that they’re alive yet. he probably does, considered the people who have him are most likely agents from yg. it's likely that they have told him the truth about his parents and why he’s there.</p><p>the silence inside the van is broken about halfway through the drive, when their leader speaks up.</p><p>“we should make some sort of plan”, chan says, looking around at the members. “not just run in blindly. someone should stay back in case we have to make a quick escape, and we’ll probably have to split up to get inside the building.”</p><p>seungmin has his laptop open in the backseat and pulls up the blueprints of the warehouse they’re heading for.</p><p>“there’s only one entrance”, he informs. in that case, they don’t really have reason to split up, making it both easier to plan but also harder to get inside.</p><p>actually, getting in isn’t the hard part. the hard part will be getting them all out of there as unharmed as possible.</p><p>“okay, then. who can stay in the car while the rest of us go inside to get him?”</p><p>the obvious choice for this would be either jeongin or seungmin, since those are the best hackers in the group which might be needed to help the rest of them by overseeing the situation.</p><p>“i can stay”, jeongin says after a quick glance at seungmin, who nods in agreement. “seungmin hyung has medical training, so you might need him in there just in case sungie hyung is…”</p><p>he trails off.</p><p>“i’m also a trained medic”, chan reminds him gently, sensing the worry the youngest has for their missing member. they all share it. “but that’s good, you’ll stay and try to keep up. and yeah, it’s good that seungmin goes inside with us, for sungie’s sake. are there security cameras inside the warehouse?”</p><p>seungmin starts typing again as jeongin comes up beside him, looking at what he’s doing on the screen. a few seconds later, there’s a reply.</p><p>“only one”, jeongin says before seungmin gets the chance to. “but it’s blocked. we might be able to get past that, it’s just gonna take a few minutes.”</p><p>seungmin moves to the side so there’s room for jeongin to sit beside him, both of them working to get past whatever it is they need to get past to access the security feed. while the two youngest are busy with doing that, changbin turns to the leader.</p><p>“so the rest of us go inside, get sungie, get out”, he says, looking to chan for a response. the leader frowns.</p><p>“we don’t know how many people will be in there, but we probably won’t be able to go quietly. there’s gonna be a fight. standard precautions, as always. aim for kneecaps, no fatal injuries, you all know the drill.”</p><p>“the warehouse only has one room”, seungmin speaks up. “and ji probably won’t be close to the entrance, so they’ll definitely have time to notice you. your best bet would be to send minho hyung in first and have him take down any yg agent who tries to get to jisung before you can.”</p><p>“but some of them might be guarding the door”, felix joins the conversation from the back of the van. “maybe me and changbin hyung should enter first and take down any potential guards, so minho hyung can focus on shooting.”</p><p>minho is the best shooter on their team, while both felix and changbin excel in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, so those roles make sense.</p><p>“or we cause a distraction outside so they send someone out to investigate”, hyunjin says. “get some of them to go outside before we break in.”</p><p>“that might alert them too early and get jisung injured, though”, changbin argues.</p><p>the group keeps talking, throwing out the pros and cons of each scenario and possible course of action. chan listens in for a while before turning to minho, who’s currently driving the van. he’s not adding anything to the discussion. this normally wouldn’t be weird, but his knuckles are white from how tightly he’s gripping the steering wheel.</p><p>“what do you think about it, minho?” chan asks. everyone else is still talking behind them and not paying any attention to what the two of them are saying in the front.</p><p>“hyung”, minho says, his voice tense. “i don’t think i’m gonna be able to aim at their kneecaps if i see them anywhere close to hannie.”</p><p>chan knows the two are close. they all are, obviously, but there’s something special about minho and jisung’s relationship with each other, and everyone knows it. they get each other in a different way. not better in any way, just different.</p><p>minho’s comment reminds chan of the boy’s time as a sniper at bighit. he doesn’t talk much about it, but it had been his first encounter with the agent life and part of the reason why he later joined jyp. minho wasn’t in a group at bighit and mostly got called in as backup for the only official group at the agency; bangtan. he learned a lot there, even if he never got to experience the life of a real agent.</p><p>now, though, minho has his own group, and his own family that he obviously cares a lot for. they all do. chan understands why he may want to do things differently this time, even though they both understand that they can’t. just because they have personal stakes in this mission doesn’t mean they’re allowed to take lives.</p><p>“our missions aren’t usually this personal”, chan comments in a tone much lighter than his words suggests. “but we still can’t shoot to kill. i know you know this already, but aim for kneecaps, no matter what your heart tells you. don’t kill them.”</p><p>“because it’s immoral?”</p><p>minho nearly rolls his eyes. for someone who works with violence, chan hyung sure sounds a lot like a pacifist. well, he is one, but still.</p><p>“no”, chan says. “not at all. but breaking someone’s nose and feeling the blood against your knuckles is a hell of a lot more satisfying than just watching them get hit by a bullet. revenge feels better up close.”</p><p>if that isn’t the mood of the evening.</p><p>the two of them turn back to the others to join the conversation, eventually deciding on a plan that everyone can agree with. they make sure the plan is flexible, since they don’t have the clearest picture of what situation they’ll be faced with once they get there.</p><p>stray kids are good at making things up as they go, though, a skill they will most likely have use for today.</p><p>-</p><p>jisung has just gotten rid of the rope around his hands when there’s a loud crash right outside the building.</p><p>his parents, currently sitting on the concrete ground a few feet in front of him, both whip their heads around toward the source of the noise. the two agents that are standing behind the couple can’t look away, since they’re both currently aiming guns at the back of his parents’ heads, but they exchange confused glances before looking toward the other agents in the room.</p><p>the one that had first spoken to jisung after he woke up seems to be the one in charge, and is the first one to speak after the loud crash.</p><p>“you two”, he gestures toward two of the agents gathered around jisung and his parents in the corner of the large room, “go. check it out.”</p><p>the women hurry away toward the warehouse’s only entrance, drawing their weapons as they move.</p><p>the dude in charge then turns back to jisung with a sickening grin.</p><p>“you know about your parents’ past.” they’ve both been gagged already and can’t make any comments, but jisung can still reply. he settles for giving the man a short nod. “well, then, i don’t have to explain anything. you know they had it coming.”</p><p>before anyone has time to react, the man pulls a gun from his holster and points it at jisung.</p><p>for a moment, jisung finds himself staring down the barrel of his gun as time seems to slow down around him. his vision tunnels, and he doesn’t see his parents’ reactions, though he can imagine it would make them pretty upset to see someone aim a gun at their son. yeah, he can imagine, alright. he wonders what his brother would look like if he could see him now.</p><p>for a moment, the only thing that exists is jisung and the weapon in front of him. the small hole in the metallic weapon, aimed at him. it’s not a threat so much as it is a promise. a promise to take his life…</p><p>the two women that had been sent outside can suddenly be heard shouting, followed by a quick succession of gunshots, followed by even more yelling.</p><p>the gun leaves his face.</p><p>jisung still doesn't have a name for the guy in front of him, but the guy he’s mentally been referring to as “evil boss” turns toward the agents remaining in the room with them.</p><p>“go!” he shouts at them, gesturing for the door. the voices outside are still yelling, and the leader’s orders throws everyone into action.</p><p>it’s a bit of a blur, all the loud noises combined with the figures rushing past him, but jisung tries to keep his focus. if he moves, he risks getting his parents shot. his hands are already free though. all he needs is an opportunity, a moment when the two agents behind his parents’ backs aren’t focused on their job and won’t shoot as soon as jisung starts moving.</p><p>if he’s lucky, the commotion outside is caused by jyp agents that are here to save him. or maybe unlucky, considering that would mean it’s his fault they’re all here and putting themselves in danger.</p><p>he doesn’t have time to think like that. more gunshots ring out, and jisung’s legs are practically bouncing with adrenaline now. waiting is never easy.</p><p>evil boss guy is turning back to jisung, the wicked grin still on his face, even when it’s clear that his position of power is being threatened. if the disturbance outside are jyp agents, he won’t be leaving this place as anything other than a captured criminal.</p><p>still. he’s grinning down at jisung, gun in his hand, acting like the only thing that exists is the boy in front of him. the gunshots are nothing but background noise.</p><p>“it seems we don’t have much time”, the man speaks. “oh, well. i would have liked to see that chip in your head, but i guess i don’t have much use of your parents, anyway.”</p><p>wait, what?</p><p>the confusion must be clear on his face, as the man’s grin widens. jisung isn’t sure if he wants the man to explain what he means, both about the chip in his head, but also about his parents. is he planning on killing them? now?</p><p>“you didn’t know?” he asks. the answer is obvious, so jisung isn’t given a chance to reply. “your parents put a tracker in your head when you were born. they were supposed to be the only ones who could track you with it, but when we caught them, we made sure they showed us how to use it. apparently, it causes you pain when we track you. surely you must have noticed that?”</p><p>his headaches. of course jisung has noticed, has even blacked out several times. he never knew it was because of a chip in his head, though.</p><p>it the tiniest bit world-altering, to find out that every time he’s had one of those headaches, it has been because he’d been getting tracked by his parents. or, jisung has no idea when his parents got back to yg after the car accident that didn’t kill them, so he’s not sure if his headaches have been because his parents were checking his location, or if it was yg. how long has yg been able to do that?</p><p>“but you can be proud”, the evil boss continues. “your parents must be very skilled, cause they managed to avoid getting caught for over twenty years. that’s insane. we only caught them again about three months ago.”</p><p>he’s still holding the gun casually, but after grinning down at the boy once more, he tightens his hold of it and lifts an arm.</p><p>only, he’s not aiming at jisung this time.</p><p>“no!” jisung yells and jumps out of the chair, toward the man.</p><p>two gunshots ring out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is totally unrelated to the chapter, but what goes on with skz hair colors???</p><p>n e way. i'm working on the next chapter but i've been getting sidetracked by other fic ideas recently so we'll see how it goes :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. x</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>all hyunjin sees when he enters the room is jisung, clinging to the back of some tall, dark clad man, fighting over the gun in the unfamiliar agent’s hand. there are other yg agents standing around them, but none of them dare shoot at the fighting pair in case their bullets were to miss jisung and hit their… colleague (?) instead. none of them have noticed hyunjin entering the warehouse.</p><p>it’s like his focus is a beam, a tunnel, only letting him see one thing clearly at a time. he moves his eyes away from jisung and raises his right arm, the one where he’s holding the gun, and aims at the agents around his friend. they still haven’t noticed him.</p><p>the chaos outside is still loud, but the air is somehow different in here. there are grunts and shouts coming from the man as he tries to stop jisung from taking his gun. jisung is silent, but hyunjin can see him struggling to not fall off the man’s back. it won’t be long until one of them gets control over the gun, and hyunjin doesn’t want to risk it being the wrong person.</p><p>the gunshot echoes loudly in the warehouse, not at all like how it had been outside. the agents that were just standing around, watching the fighting pair, sink to the ground before jisung and the man have time to notice that hyunjin is here.</p><p>once they do, the man loses focus, but jisung has enough training to not let even the loudest noises distract him and manages to rip the gun from the man’s grip.</p><p>“ji!” hyunjin yells, still aiming his gun at the agents on the ground. as always, he knows he’s not allowed to kill anyone, so his shots haven’t hit any vital parts. hyunjin is sure of it. just enough for them to not be able to run again anytime soon.</p><p>their arms are still mobile though, and they will definitely be able to shoot if they get a few moments to collect themselves.</p><p>“ji!” he shouts again, and jisung finally jumps down from the man’s back to sprint toward hyunjin, trusting the slightly older boy to keep him from getting shot.</p><p>before the yg agents have time to aim at the pair, jisung has reached hyunjin, and then they’re running.</p><p>-</p><p>“go, go! drive! GO!”</p><p>felix is the last person to get back into the van, but as soon as he’s inside, jeongin starts driving. the wheels squeak against the ground as they take off.</p><p>jisung honestly has no idea how they all made it out alive, with only minor injuries from everything that just happened. everyone’s breathing heavily, letting the situation settle in before starting to check themselves for injuries.</p><p>“we don’t know if they’ll follow us”, chan says to jeongin. “don’t drive straight back. jyp has other agents coming in to capture these guys, so we should be good, but just as a safety precaution so we don’t lead them to our home. unless anyone needs urgent medical attention?”</p><p>he directs the last part at the rest of the group in the van behind him, though his eyes seem to linger on jisung, who shakes his head silently. his skin is pale, and he’s pretty sure his eyes are red, but none of the others comment on it. that’s good. he’s not sure he’s up for explaining what happened in the warehouse right before they arrived.</p><p>now, without the adrenaline to keep him going, jisung can’t help but slump down in his seat. hyunjin and minho are sitting on either side of him, and he mentally debates whether it would be best to fall asleep on hyunjin or minho’s shoulder once he completely loses his energy.</p><p>jisung is not sure how much they know. considering they managed to find him in the warehouse, they must have learned some things while he was kidnapped, but do they know everything? do they know why yg was after jisung and younghyun? do they know about his parents?</p><p>he watched them die.</p><p>jisung repeats that to himself a few times, testing to see if it feels more real after thinking about it more. it doesn’t. he watched them die, saw the bullets hit their bodies, almost stepped in the puddles of their blood when he was jumping at the evil boss guy.</p><p>the memory is both incredibly clear and incredibly blurry at the same time.</p><p>“hey, you’re bleeding”, minho’s voice breaks through his thoughts. jisung registers the sensation of someone grabbing his hand before he understands that it’s minho, lifting it to see a trail of blood coming from underneath his sleeve.</p><p>jisung blinks at it. he has no idea why he’s bleeding, and is just as curious as minho when the older lifts his sleeve to check the injury.</p><p>it’s a cut. jisung has no memory of getting that, and only notices the pain once he sees the red line on his forearm. was the guy he fought with armed, besides the gun? maybe he had a knife. jisung honestly hadn’t noticed. or maybe the other agent simply has really sharp nails. can nails scratch this deep?</p><p>jisung blinks, and then seungmin is in front of him, ready to clean the injured area and put some gauze tape over it. seungmin is slow and careful in his movements, but jisung still struggles to keep up with what’s going on. he’s not sure how noticeable it is to everyone around him.</p><p>“are you hurt anywhere else?” seungmin asks once the injury is clean and covered. jisung shrugs, not noticing the frown that comes over the medic’s face at that.</p><p>“can you try to feel if there’s anything that hurts?” minho attempts to ask from beside him. once again, jisung doesn’t know how to answer his question, but doesn’t want to worry them by avoiding it, so he shakes his head.</p><p>he thinks about younghyun. did younghyun know that their parents were alive this whole time? no, he can’t possibly have. both of the brothers are great at keeping secrets from everyone except each other. there’s no way jisung wouldn’t have noticed if younghyun had known about it.</p><p>his members must be worried about him. right now, though, he can’t be bothered to care much.</p><p>he’s too tired. the past hour, the past day, the past few weeks have been one whirlwind of actions. it doesn’t matter that getting benched was basically like a break for jisung, because this isn’t something that a bit of rest will fix.</p><p>then what will? what can he do to make this better? nothing comes to mind.</p><p>jisung leans his head on minho’s shoulder and falls asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there aren't many chapters left, but i haven't finished writing so i can't say exactly how many :o</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. xi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>jyp is waiting for them in the apartment lobby when they get back.</p>
<p>“i just got off the phone with jihyo”, he announces, standing with his hands clasped behind his back. all of stray kids come to an abrupt stop in front of him once they hear that. “twice managed to capture all the yg agents and are bringing them in for interrogation, which means your mission is finished. i would like to have a meeting with you to go over the details of what happened, though.”</p>
<p>jisung has been asleep all through the car ride here, and his brain is too groggy to keep up with what the older is telling them. he has no reaction to jyp’s words from where he’s standing, leaning heavily on hyunjin for support.</p>
<p>“can it please wait until tomorrow?” chan glances at jisung, thinking about how they aren’t even sure what happened yet, themselves. they haven’t exactly had a good chance to ask about it. “we’d like to summarize it for ourselves first.”</p>
<p>to his relief, jyp agrees.</p>
<p>felix and hyunjin start leading jisung away, with jeongin walking first to hold open doors for them. chan hangs back to see that everyone is on their way before taking a step to follow his group members, but jyp puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him.</p>
<p>their boss’ expression hasn’t changed, but chan senses the difference anyway. jyp lowers his voice as he watches the other agents disappear up the stairs.</p>
<p>“jihyo also told me they found two dead bodies in the warehouse. they’ve been identified as jisung’s parents.”</p>
<p>chan’s breath hitches.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>there’s some sort of silent agreement that chan will be the one to talk to jisung, who still hasn’t spoken a word since they got him out of that warehouse. the rest of the members aren’t even sure what happened. chan only knows what he heard from jyp, but it’s more than the others know, and enough for him to have some idea of what might have happened to jisung. or more like, what jisung might have witnessed back there.</p>
<p>felix and hyunjin stay with jisung, while the others scatter to put away their weapons, clean up, get changed, and do whatever else they have to do now that the mission is over. chan, who’s been walking behind the group, waits until everyone else is gone before joining the trio.</p>
<p>jisung doesn't look up as he approaches and eventually stops, close enough that they could touch if he just reached out a hand.</p>
<p>chan assumes that the rest of the members have been soft and gentle with him, which is good, but he also knows that jisung often describes his head as ‘fuzzy’ whenever he’s having anxiety, and says that the only things that really get through to him are when people are very direct with what they’re saying.</p>
<p>anxiety is obviously not the same as what has happened today, but it’s the only experience chan has to base his behavior on. he can only hope that he doesn’t make it worse.</p>
<p>“jisung, let’s go sit down on the couch”, he says, trying to keep his tone authoritative at the same time as it doesn’t sound commanding. the younger doesn’t show that he’s heard him, but starts moving toward the living room. felix and hyunjin look back at chan hesitantly.</p>
<p>“you can go shower and change”, he tells them. “we’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>both boys leave after sending jisung two sad smiles that chan isn’t sure if the other even notices. he seems pretty out of it.</p>
<p>once they’re alone in the living room, chan turns to jisung, who’s sitting on the edge of the couch. his eyes are distant, almost like he’s not seeing what’s in front of him.</p>
<p>“are you okay?” the leader asks, searching his face for a sign that he’s not. jisung shrugs and makes a humming noise that could mean pretty much anything, so chan continues.</p>
<p>“okay, i guess i’ll tell you what i know.” still no response. chan decides to keep talking. “jyp helped your parents fake a car accident, and then let you and younghyun join his agency when you were four years old. your parents kept running after faking their own death, knowing that yg was still after them. they only got caught a short while ago. some weeks ago, maybe? a few months?”</p>
<p>jisung is still staring off into space. after a silent sigh, chan moves to crouch in front of him, trying to catch the younger’s gaze.</p>
<p>“jyp will want us to make a rapport on the mission, but we can’t do that if we don’t have all the information.” he pauses and waits for a reaction, but jisung doesn’t give one. chan softens his voice. “ji, what happened back there?”</p>
<p>jisung opens his mouth, not looking at chan.</p>
<p>“they got shot.” his voice is empty of any emotion, cold almost, and it makes chan internally shudder. on the outside, he nods at the younger, trying to appear encouraging. “they said they were gonna kill me, but they shot my parents instead. right in front of me. i saw them die, chan.”</p>
<p>the boy turns his gaze to the leader, and it’s so full of pain, so full of grief and loss that chan wants to look away. he doesn’t. instead, he swallows hard and nods. it’s nothing he hadn’t already known, or at least guessed, but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.</p>
<p>“yeah.” his voice isn’t louder than a whisper. “jyp said that their bodies were found. i’m so sorry, jisungie. i wish there was something i could do. i wish i could take your pain.”</p>
<p>“can i tell you everything?” jisung asks. he looks exhausted, and chan gets the feeling that either his body or his mind is about to give up on him. his nap in the van hasn’t done much. not that chan was expecting a nap to fix him after everything he's been through. “and then sleep. but i need to tell you first… i need to tell someone.”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>chan stays on the couch after they’ve finished talking… or well, after jisung finishes telling the story. as soon as he quiets down, the leader notices minho standing in the doorway, looking at the pair on the couch. chan isn’t sure how long he’s been standing there. not that it matters much.</p>
<p>jisung seems ready to collapse despite sitting down, so chan tells him to get some sleep, and the younger doesn’t even have the energy to respond.</p>
<p>when minho sees him get up, he pushes himself away from where he’d been leaning against the doorframe and sends a small smile toward the approaching boy.</p>
<p>“you wanna sleep with me tonight, jisungie?” he asks gently. jisung nods, so minho grabs his hand and starts leading him away. chan watches them go.</p>
<p>he’s honestly not sure how they’re supposed to help jisung heal from this. the boy has lived his whole life thinking his parents died before he could get to know them, only to find out that they’re alive, and then to immediately have them ripped away from him again.</p>
<p>it hurts chan’s heart to know that for a few minutes, jisung had them back. for those minutes, there was a future where the boy would had a chance to reconnect with his parents, where they could become a part of his life again.</p>
<p>it isn’t fair that jisung had that taken away from him. it isn’t fair that he was given hope, only for the hope to die mere moments later.</p>
<p>with a sigh, chan stands up from the couch to go to bed. they still have one last meeting with jyp tomorrow, and then the case will finally be done with. after that, they’ll have time to rest. time to heal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>one more chapter and then an epilogue i think? i'm not sure at all lmao, but right now it looks like that in my drafts :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. xii</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>seven members are gathered in jyp’s office the next day.</p><p>there’s a heavy feeling in the air, like a gray cloud weighing down on all of them, and it has never been this obvious that someone is absent. it’s only meant to be a meeting to conclude their mission and sum up everything they’ve done, but it feels like so much more.</p><p>“i think it’s easiest to tell this story from yg’s point of view”, chan says after a quick look around at his members’ faces. he takes a deep breath, and then starts talking.</p><p>“yg put together a group of agents that pretended to be weapon smugglers. he made sure that jyp would hear about the case, and made sure that it was very clear when and where there would be a chance for us to catch them. yg was hoping that the mission would be given either to day6 or to us, since those are the groups younghyun and jisung are in, so that he would have a chance to catch one or both brothers.”</p><p>jyp lifts his chin almost unnoticeably, but to chan, it’s very clearly a sign that their boss is starting to understand. he continues.</p><p>“the mission went to got7 instead, and got7 caught the fake weapon smugglers pretty easily. but, yg didn’t get his shot at capturing younghyun or jisung, so they made another group that could pretend to be weapon smugglers and hoped that this second mission would be given to one of the right groups. this time, we got the mission. it was around this time that the first group, the ones that got7 caught, managed to escape, which was all part of yg’s plan. obviously, he didn’t want his own agents to be stuck here forever.”</p><p>chan pauses, and jyp takes the chance to interrupt.</p><p>“and then they were trying to catch jisung, at the same time as stray kids was trying to catch them”, jyp says. “everything after that, i believe i already know.”</p><p>some glances are exchanged between the members.</p><p>“well, there are some things we would like to have cleared up for us”, changbin eventually speaks up.</p><p>“how did they get to jisung in our apartment?” hyunijn asks. “how did they know he would be there, and not with us out in the field?”</p><p>it’s something that’s been confusing them for a while now, how the enemies could have his exact location, and if so, why didn’t they get to him earlier? they knew a lot, so they should have acted on it.</p><p>jyp draws a deep breath and gets into the explanation.</p><p>“his parents put a chip in his head when he was born”, he says slowly. “it was supposed to make them capable of tracking him, and only them. i was aware of this when i took jisung and his brother to live here. his parents used to check his position regularly, since there was no other safe way for them to know how he was doing after they faked their deaths, and they figured that as long as he was still here at jyp, he would be fine.”</p><p>“that’s what gave him headaches”, minho interrupts, casting a quick look at jyp. “when his parents checked his location. they stopped for a while, but came back recently. that’s when his parents got taken by yg, so yg must have forced them to check jisung’s location, and that’s what made him black out last week.”</p><p>jyp is surprisingly okay with having been interrupted.</p><p>“yes. either that, or his parents checked it in secret, before yg learned about the chip. but it was definitely yg checking his location when you all went out on a mission, and he fainted alone in your apartment. some yg agents broke in and kidnapped him, after causing the power outage and locking in seungmin and jeongin.”</p><p>there’s not much else they need explained. a lot has already been said, enough for them to be dismissed and sent off to get some rest. it’s been too much information. all they need now is to get back home and make sure jisung is okay.</p><p>-</p><p>“i would like to take some time off.”</p><p>jisung hasn’t even sat down when he speaks. jyp is still in the middle of setting aside the computer he’d been looking at before the boy entered, his attention quickly switching over to jisung when the younger speaks.</p><p>despite the familiarity of the meeting room, jisung feels incredibly out of place in here. this is the place where it all started. the place they first got the mission, where they had that briefing with jyp what feels like ages ago. it seems unbelievable that it’s been less than two weeks. the mission has actually been a quick one compared to other cases they’ve worked, missions that dragged out and took the group several months to finish.</p><p>and then there was that one with chan and changbin before stray kids officially formed, holy shit, didn’t that take them half a year to finish…?</p><p>jisung has almost forgotten his request by the time jyp finally replies.</p><p>“of course.” his voice implies that the answer is obvious. of course jisung should get to take some time off after everything, of course he deserves a break. no question about it. the way he gazes at jisung seems to imply the same thing.</p><p>jisung thinks he should be punished for how badly be fucked up this mission, and definitely does not deserve the break, but he doesn’t argue with the man. he doesn’t have the energy to say anything other than what he came here for.</p><p>“thank you. and also, i would like a plane ticket.”</p><p>jyp looks up at him with the briefest hint of sympathy in his expression, so small that it’s almost unnoticeable, but jisung isn’t called an expert on body language for nothing. not that he takes much pride in that anymore. it couldn’t save his parents in the warehouse, so how valuable could it really be?</p><p>“for where?” the man asks, reaching for his computer again.</p><p>“anywhere.”</p><p>the older nods and looks down at his screen, clicking a few times before turning back to jisung.</p><p>“is malaysia fine with you? there’s a plane leaving for kuala lumpur in four hours from now.”</p><p>jisung nods.</p><p>-</p><p>on his way out, jisung almost walks straight into younghyun. it’s a lucky coincidence, because jisung can’t say he had planned on going to find his brother before leaving. this is his chance to say goodbye.</p><p>“you’re leaving”, younghyun states before jisung can say anything. his eyes are sad, but he’s smiling. jisung wonders how he can still manage to do that. smiles feel so distant now.</p><p>“are you okay?” jisung asks the older, not acknowledging his comment.</p><p>“i’m not.” younghyun shakes his head slowly, eyes fixed somewhere above jisung’s left shoulder. “but i will be. what about you?”</p><p>jisung shakes his head.</p><p>“no. not now. it’s hard to believe that maybe one day, everything won’t hurt so much, but i’ll keep hoping.”</p><p>“when will i see you again?” younghyun asks.</p><p>jisung wants to laugh at the way it sounds, but he settles for a small smile. it’s so typical his brother to know everything going on in his life without him having told the older anything. he knows he’s going away, even though jisung only requested it from jyp a few minutes ago.</p><p>“two weeks, maybe? i don’t really know yet. i haven’t even talked to the others.”</p><p>jisung loves his members. it’s not them he needs time away from, it’s everything else, but he can’t take an actual break if he stays here and there’s no way he’s gonna ask them to come with. they’ve been together so many years. a break would be best for them all right now.</p><p>“i get that, but you should tell them now, then. you have to go back and get your stuff, anyway.”</p><p>yeah, jisung owes them that at least.</p><p>-</p><p>the apartment is in chaos when he gets back. people are shouting, everyone seems to be running around, and no one notices jisung opening the front door to step inside. he looks around at the mess with fondness. it’ll be weird to leave this, but hopefully, it’ll also be good for him and he can come back feeling better.</p><p>changbin is the first to notice him. the older is just about to start sprinting down the hallway as he comes out from the living room, but stops when he sees jisung right inside the front door. his mouth makes an ‘o’ shape.</p><p>“sung”, he says, sounding almost breathless. “where were you? we went into your room, and you weren’t there. everyone is freaking out.”</p><p>jisung makes a grimace.</p><p>“sorry, i went to talk to jyp”, he replies. maybe telling changbin first won’t so bad, then there will only be six people left to freak out later. he continues. “i’m leaving.”</p><p>definitely not the best way to phrase it. changbin’s eyes widen, and he looks like someone just punched him in the stomach.</p><p>“leaving?” the boy repeats. there’s an indescribable sadness in his voice, and jisung hurries to backtrack.</p><p>“no, no, not like that! i’m coming back. just… i need some time away from everything. being here… it… the memories…”</p><p>it seems he manages to get his point across without any complete sentences, and understanding dawns on changbin’s face.</p><p>“oh.”</p><p>“yeah.” jisung doesn’t know what else to say. should he comfort them, tell them that it has nothing to do with them? promise that he’ll be back soon?</p><p>he doesn’t want to make any promises, and the rest would just sound like empty words, so he stays quiet. the chaos continues around them up until changbin raises his voice.</p><p>“guys!” he shouts, turning away from jisung briefly. “stop panicking!”</p><p>“my child is gone!” chan yells back. it sounds like he’s in the kitchen, but the volume increases as he moves closer, probably to come glare at changbin in the hallway. “how do you expect me to stay calm when-… oh.”</p><p>chan steps into the hallway, whatever sentence he’d been in the middle of left unfinished.</p><p>“hi”, jisung says quietly.</p><p>“hi?” the leader repeats, concern evident in his tone. “ji, ohmygosh, you scared us! we couldn’t find you, minho said you’d still been in his bed when we left this morning but you weren’t anywhere. we were freaking out.”</p><p>he steps closer and holds his arms out. jisung’s apology is mumbled against chan’s shoulder as the other pulls him into a hug, a gesture that’s as comforting to chan as it is to the younger boy. knowing that he’ll probably cause them to freak out once more when he tells them his plan sucks, but he has to do it.</p><p>“everyone!” changbin yells again. “calm down, jisung’s back. for now, at least.”</p><p>“what’s that supposed to mean?” chan questions as he pulls away, furrowing his brows. he then looks at jisung. “are you leaving again?”</p><p>“can we talk?” jisung asks. his voice is a lot lower compared to the other two, and the noisy apartment almost drowns it out completely. “i should tell everyone.”</p><p>chan obviously isn’t very comforted by that response, but he nods.</p><p>“sure. i’ll get everyone to the living room.”</p><p>while the leader heads off to find the rest of the members, changbin and jisung walk together into the living room. seungmin and felix are already there, prepared to pounce on him.</p><p>jisung lets out a small ‘oof’ as he’s attacked by one boy from either side, trapping him in another hug. he can’t exactly return the gesture, considering the way they’re pressed against him kind of traps his arms. it’s still nice.</p><p>“okay, let him breathe”, changbin says after a few seconds, and the other two reluctantly draw back.</p><p>“i missed you, sungie”, felix speaks. jisung feels very grateful that the younger september boy doesn’t question where he’s been, or why he left. he’s still not sure how he’s going to tell them.</p><p>seungmin grabs his hand and pulls him toward the couch. felix and changbin follow behind them, and all four boys sit in a comfortable silence as they wait for everyone else to join them.</p><p>minho gets there only moments later. he seems worried, but calms down when he sees jisung. the older picks a spot on the floor and sits down, sending a small smile toward jisung. he doesn’t feel like his face will comply if he tries to return the gesture, but he sends a finger heart toward the other. minho’s smile widens.</p><p>hyunjin and jeongin enter at the same time, with chan walking close behind them.</p><p>“hyung!” jeongin exclaims the second he lays eyes on jisung. “i love you!”</p><p>hyunjin gives their maknae a weird look.</p><p>“didn’t you say you were gonna yell at him when he got back?” the older questions. “or, i think your exact words were ‘chew him the fuck out’. what happened to that?”.</p><p>jeongin frowns.</p><p>“yeah, but then i saw his stupid face and realized that i don’t wanna do that, so i said the first thing that came to mind.”</p><p>hyunjin merely shrugs before moving to take the last space on the couch, leaving jeongin to either take one of the armchairs or join minho on the floor. he does the latter while chan remains standing.</p><p>before the atmosphere can become tense or awkward as they all wait for jisung to do something, the boy speaks up. there’s no need to drag it out. he's not too worried about how they'll react, not really having the mental energy to really feel much at the moment, so he hopes his words don't sound too detached as he tries to explain.</p><p>“i’m going away for a while.” at least he learned his lesson from the way he phrased it earlier with changbin. <em>i’m leaving</em> makes it sound like he’s not coming back. “i’m not sure when i’ll be back, but i need some time away from… well, everything. my plane leaves in a little less than four hours.”</p><p>they understand. of course they do. jisung never would have expected anything else.</p><p>seungmin and felix, who are sitting on either side of him, move to trap the boy in another hug. then hyunjin leans over changbin to join, getting the shorter boy into the group hug as well, and after that, it’s just one big mess of limbs as everyone tries to get as close as possible to the boy in the middle. their love is almost overwhelming to him.</p><p>after that, jeongin offers to help him pack. felix makes him something to eat before leaving, changbin makes sure he actually eats it. seungmin double checks that he hasn't forgotten anything. minho says he’ll drive him to the airport. chan comes with to make sure they get there alright, and hyunjin comes because he says he wants to see the boy for as long as possible.</p><p>jisung doesn’t feel better yet. he’s struggling, and he’s going to do so for a while longer, but he somehow manages to feel hopeful about everything. it can get better. it <em>will</em> get better.</p><p>the world may look gray to him right now, but with these people by his side, it feels a bit more colorful.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>comeback comeback comeback comeback comabeck comback comebaekc baoc bacoma bcmoca</p><p>hahahha anyway… oh my god that ending was so fucking sappy (sappy by rv is a great song by the way).<br/>thanks for reading! there's only an epilogue left and i hope to post it before the end of the week :)</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><em>italics</em> means they're speaking in english (and, uhh there's also some latin that i wrote in italics but that's not important).</p><p>also, there are some references and symbolic shit in this chapter so i'll explain that in the end notes :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it’s weird how even the most crowded places can feel so empty.</p><p>jisung looks around the airport, following the people grouped together by the different gates with his eyes, trying not to get too lost in his own head. he thinks a lot these days. probably too much. not that he didn’t think before, but now it’s especially noticeable just how easy it is for him to lose track of his own thoughts, to let them drown him.</p><p>his month away from everything has been good for that, though.</p><p>a small smile finds its way onto his face, and jisung almost wants to grab his bucket hat and pull it down over his face just to be absolutely sure that no one sees it, but he doesn’t. he’s gotten better at that, too. letting himself have emotions. they can be deadly in this line of business that he’s chosen for himself, but that doesn’t mean he should stop allowing himself to feel.</p><p>a movement in the corner of his eye catches his attention. he whips his head around a bit faster than the average person, but definitely not fast enough to be attention-grabbing. his heart rate doesn't even accelerate. jisung is kind of proud of himself for managing to act so casual, although he makes himself seem a bit jumpy. that’s okay.</p><p>he finds a pair of eyes staring back at him, and when the boy turns his head, the little girl grins. jisung smiles back at her and gives a small wave. there aren’t any parents around that the girl could belong to, so jisung might as well entertain her.</p><p>“<em>hi</em>”, she says in a high-pitched voice, sounding like she’s a second away from breaking out into giggles. jisung’s smile widens a bit.</p><p>“<em>hello</em>”, he replies in english, finding himself surprisingly happy that she doesn’t speak french or something that he wouldn’t have been able to respond to. he’s not sure why it should even matter to him, but it does, and he’s glad he can communicate with her. “<em>what’s your name</em>?”</p><p>“<em>mila. i’m three years old</em>.” she holds up four fingers, and jisung chuckles a bit as he leans forward to put one of them down. the girl stares at her own hand before glancing up at him again, showing a toothy grin. she has dimples, and jisung immediately thinks of chan and jeongin. his own smile doesn’t falter at the thought.</p><p>“<em>that’s nice. my name’s jisung. i’m nineteen</em>.”</p><p>there’s a voice somewhere in his mind, talking about how he just gave out way too much unnecessary information, considering she didn’t even ask for it, and the voice sounds quite a lot like jyp.</p><p>jisung tunes it out.</p><p>“<em>are you going to LA, too</em>?” the kid asks, and his smile softens.</p><p>“<em>no</em>”, he tells her. she pouts at this, and the expression is adorable. jisung internally coos at her. “<em>i would love to visit there sometime, though. i’ve heard it’s a cool city</em>.”</p><p>“<em>mila!</em>”</p><p>both of them turn at the sound of the voice, and a woman who’s almost definitely mila’s mother is quickly approaching them, her eyes set on the young kid. jisung turns to mila.</p><p>“<em>did you leave your parents</em>?” he asks, and the girl nods, still pouting slightly.</p><p>“<em>i just wanted to look around</em>“, she mutters.</p><p>“<em>you shouldn’t stray away like that, kid</em>.” the girl frowns at him, not liking to be reprimanded, even though jisung doesn’t sound very reprimanding when he says it. “<em>but it’s okay. i tend to stray away a lot, too. just make sure you remember to come back in the end</em>.”</p><p>he only realizes how much he’s talking to himself once the words have already left his mouth, and mila is standing up from the bench to run over to her mother. they don’t say goodbye, but mila waves toward him when her mother has her face turned away. jisung keeps watching them as they reach another woman who’s waiting for them a bit away, seated in a wheelchair, and he sees mila run up to the second woman as soon as they’re close enough. the first woman smiles at the one who now has mila on her lap, her expression more relaxed now that she’s got her daughter back with her. or, back with them. it looks like they’re both mila’s parents.</p><p>jisung turns his head toward the announcement board just as it is announced that his gate is open. flight for seoul, south korea, departing at 3:25 pm from gate 44.</p><p>he’s been trying to look for an exit, to take himself out from being trapped in the darkness. fighting harder, running away from this place, going up and escaping his dark past. he’s running so that he can forget. has it worked? sometimes, sometimes not.</p><p>as the bell of a new start rings (okay, maybe it’s just the announcement that the plane is boarding, but whatever), he gets up.</p><p>-</p><p>jisung crouches down on the ground in front of the two smooth stones, holding a pair of sunflowers in his hands. the vibrant color contrasts greatly against the grim atmosphere of the cemetery, but jisung thinks that it only makes this all the more fitting.</p><p>he places one flower in front of each gravestone. one for his mother, one for his father.</p><p>jisung then lets out a slow breath, before moving his gaze from the flowers and up to the stones, reading the inscriptions that he helped chose. he hadn’t been to their funeral, but he couldn’t just leave younghyun to do everything.</p><p><em>bono malum superate</em> is what the inscription on his mother’s grave reads, on the left stone. then to the right, on his father’s grave: <em>fac fortia et patere</em>.</p><p>jisung closes his eyes, turning his face to the ground.</p><p>“i will”, he whispers. “i swear i will.”</p><p>-</p><p>coming home makes it feel like the past month hasn’t happened.</p><p>opening the front door, stepping in over the threshold, it’s all so familiar to him. he might as well have gone out to the grocery store, and not left the country to deal with the grief after losing his parents. the feeling of home is so strong. he hasn’t even seen his members yet, but everything seems to get better simply from being here.</p><p>“don’t drink the shampoo!” a voice that sounds scarily similar to changbin screeches from further inside the apartment, and a small giggle slips past jisung’s lips. at least nothing has changed here.</p><p>he leaves his bag in the hallway to go search for everyone else (and partly to make sure that whoever is trying to drink shampoo doesn’t actually do that). all the rooms he walks past are surprisingly clean, but that might only be because they know he’s coming back today. their group isn’t exactly known to clean just for the fun of it.</p><p>there’s no one in the kitchen or living room, and he doesn’t see anyone inside any of the bedrooms as he walks down the hallway. however, there are still voices coming from the only bathroom not connected to a bedroom, the one at the end of the hallway.</p><p>jisung walks slowly toward the open door. he doesn’t even want to think about why all seven of them are in there at the same time, supposedly arguing about drinking shampoo. knowing them, it's not surprising, but still weird.</p><p>he steps into view, and immediately, there's a chorus of "jisung!" and "you're back!" from the boys in the bathroom. jeongin and hyunjin are standing in the bathtub the furthest into the room, and everyone else appears to be surrounding them. jisung doesn't even want to know what they're doing.</p><p>"hi", he says softly.</p><p>chan, minho and felix are standing closest to jisung. all three of them move out through the doorway, giving the boys still inside the bathroom more space to move around while also getting closer to jisung, who's stood in the hallway right outside. seungmin comes after, followed by changbin.</p><p>there’s a pause where they’re simply looking at one another. it's been a month since they last saw each other, and even though they've been texting and facetiming regularly, meeting in person is a whole different thing. they've all missed this.</p><p>“how are you?” chan eventually asks, a hint of hesitance in his voice. or it might be worry, the younger isn’t too sure.</p><p>the entire group is still looking at him, and he considers the question.</p><p>he still has anxiety and nightmares, and he still remembers the day in the warehouse a bit too vividly, but the memory doesn't hurt as much as it used to. thinking about it doesn't make him want to cry anymore. he doesn't stay up until 5 am because closing his eyes reminds him of the darkness when he was blindfolded and tied up, right before the gunshots started. sleeping doesn't terrify him as much now, and he's feeling a lot better in general.</p><p>jisung smiles.</p><p>“better. a lot better.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>according to a quick google search, sunflowers in victorian flower language can mean "congratulations" or "thank you for everything". jisung means thank you when placing them on his parents' graves. how does he know victorian flower language, you may ask? he doesn't. he did a quick google search.</p><p>the numbers when he boards the plane are kinda obvious, but it departs at 3:25 because their debut. the plane is at gate 44, jisung is 19, which makes 4419.</p><p>the last two paragraphs of jisung at the airport are translated lyrics from hellevator, changed up a bit to fit in the context.</p><p>latin translations for the inscriptions on the graves: <em>bono malum superate</em> - overcome evil with good. <em>fac fortia et patere</em> - do brave deeds and endure. that's why jisung whispers "i will".</p><p>and finally: thank you for reading this story! &lt;3</p>
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